


Start Again

by nikogda



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Cat/Human Hybrids, Cuddles, Exes to Lovers, Footballer Louis, Happy Ending, Hybrid AU, Hybrid Harry, Hybrid Niall, Hybrid Zayn, Lack of Communication, M/M, Semi Friends w/ Benefits, Stupid Boys, Teasing, alternative universe, famous/non-famous, semi public hand job
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-13 14:28:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 41,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21495790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikogda/pseuds/nikogda
Summary: Harry’s a hybrid who has gotten over his ex, Louis. When he learns Louis - a famous footballer for Manchester United - is offering a chance for a one-on-one dinner with him for charity, Harry goes and makes it his mission to outbid everyone in order to tie up loose ends. Will the dinner open the floodgates and allow them to heal their old wounds? Or will it only cause them more pain?
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 123
Collections: 1D Hybrid Fic Fest





	Start Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kingsofeverything](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingsofeverything/gifts).

> I would like to thank [Lauren](http://www.KingsofEverything.Tumblr.com) for making a comment in tags on a post about Harry bidding on an auction to have dinner with Louis. This has taken me ages to do because I couldn't figure out how to do it and then once I did it went in a whole different direction. 
> 
> ALSO! I want to thank (as always!) Lynda for being a super beta and Deanna for also going over this fic! I appreciate the two of you! 
> 
> ALSO Because I have to, Sus and Emmi are amazing and seriously with out them this fic would NOT exist. Or well also without Lauren. SO THANK you all. :D

Niall yawns, his arms stretched out above his head as he leans back in his chair, his ear flicks at a stray hair that was tickling it, the other one laying flat against his hair like always. He drops his arms against the large oval table in the conference room where Liam is standing at the board, proudly using his pointer stick to tap at the screen every time a new slide appears. He’s going to shove that stick up Liam’s ass if he doesn’t stop the tap, tap, tap on the damn whiteboard. Niall narrows his eyes as he clicks his pen a few times, watching as Liam clears his throat and taps on the board as a new slide appears. _Because_, of course everyone in the room needs to see the seating arrangement from _another_ angle. 

Niall clicks his pen five times quickly and smiles to himself as Liam clenches his fist at his side. Liam taps harder on the board, turning his attention towards the the room and even in the dim light of the conference room, Niall can tell he’s scanning the room for the clicking pen. His chin on his hand, clicking repeatedly, he watches Liam’s eyes land on him. He grins and lays the pen on the table, clicking as he sets it down. 

Liam takes a deep breath and closes his pointer stick, clenching the narrow metal in his fist as he talks to the room, but his focus is on Niall who starts to tap his pen on the conference table, his tail swaying behind him, a slight flick at the end of it when it swings it in Liam’s direction. 

“So, that concludes the slide show. All we have left to do is order catering and find someone for the silent auction. We need a big name who is willing to have dinner with ten people. I would like it to be an athlete or a musician this year. Last year we had an actress and I just feel if we change up the type of celebrity, it would bring more interest. This is for a good cause! We are raising money for Stand Up To Cancer, so please, anyone you guys may know who would like to have dinner with ten people for charity, email me the contact info! That’s all I have to say. Niall, is there anything that you’d like to add?” Liam blinks at him, pointing his shortened pointer stick in Niall’s direction. Everyone turns their attention towards Niall, waiting.

**__________**

Liam’s leading the way out of the conference room, Niall following close behind. Liam is listing off celebs as an option. “Britney Spears, Dominic Harrison, Louis Tomlinson, oh and--” 

“Wait! That's a great idea. Just sign Louis up, he’ll do it.” Niall loudly interrupts as Liam stops outside Niall’s office,

Niall moves past Liam to open the door to his office and heads in, tossing his briefcase on the small leather sofa. 

“Are you sure? You haven’t even asked him” Liam questions from the door, watching Niall.

“It’s Louis! He loves charity stuff. Tickets alone would sell if we announce it soon.” 

Niall watches as Liam thinks it over before he nods. “Get him to agree, sign legal papers, do the legal things and we can get Lewis on the promotional shit.” 

Niall nods as he pulls his phone out, his tail swaying sharply behind him, “I’m on it. I’ll have them on your desk on Monday.” 

“Alright, I’ll see you then. Tell Louis I said hey and thanks - if you’re so sure he will do it.” 

Niall puts his phone into his back pocket before he grabs his keys from the middle drawer of his desk and heads out of his office, “He will, it’s Louis.” 

**L.**

Louis doesn't want to do it, and no matter how many times Niall tells him he should do it, because _it’s for charity and he’s Louis Tomlinson, _Louis tells Niall that he won’t do it.Ten is one too many for a dinner and it is very much out of his comfort zone. He offers to do it if they lower the number of people involved in the dinner to at least two, maybe three. Or if they add a celeb or someone else, which Niall says they can’t do. The promotion for the benefit has already started going out, they can’t change that now. 

Louis wants to strangle Niall, and use his own tail to do it, too. He debates doing so; he could hide the body. He feels a hand on his shoulder and jumps, narrowing his eyes at Niall. 

“Not doing it, Ni. That’s a lot of people for me. If it was one or two, maybe I’d give it a go.” 

Niall shakes his head, “Come on, Louis. It’s one dinner, a couple of hours and charity. You like charity, Louis. A good charity too.” 

Louis shakes his head as smoke spills from his lips into the night air. “Listen, if I do this--” He holds a hand up to Niall whose voice made a weird noise at the words, he isn’t finished. He has ground rules after all. “If I do this, Ni. You better be there, and I better have security. This whole thing is asking for trouble.” 

“We will figure it out, I need you to sign some forms and we can get the ball rolling.” Niall reaches out and pats Louis on the back. 

Louis shakes his head as he snubs his cigarette out against the brick wall of the pub. He taps the end to make sure it isn't hot before flicking it into a trash bin. He reaches out, putting an arm around Niall and pulling him back into the pub with him, “Only doing it for charity, and you. No one else.” 

Niall shoots a text to Liam confirming what he’d already said, he got Louis to agree and they could get the ball rolling. 

**N.**

Niall tosses the papers down on Liam’s desk, his tail happily swaying behind him. He has a smug smile as Liam pushes his glasses up onto his nose some and looks at the papers. He flips through them and stops on one page, a highlighted section. 

“What is this?” He tapped his pen against the neon green section of text and looks up at Niall as he leans back in his office chair. HIs dress shirt and slacks are always just a bit too tight for him and Niall mentally puts the image away for later. 

“Well we made some changes, I hope you don’t mind. It was three AM and you would have ripped me apart had I called you to clarify such changes.” 

Liam nods curtly before his eyes fall back to the paper, his pen moving as he reads them over. He sighs and looks back at Niall, “This changes everything.”

“No, not really, Liam. It’s a party of three, each gets to bring one guest and it is done over three different nights for a more intimate type of evening. Also, a guard and I will accompany each one. Nothing more, nothing less. It will still bring in the same interest, actually, if not more, as we have a more intimate setting to portray.” 

Liam shakes his head slightly before he takes his glasses off, “How? How can this be a better idea?”

“If you look at the previous one, it was ten people, a winner and their nine closests friends. Or, a group of winners all pooling in. That could deter people from entering. This one invites the idea that it’s this intimate dinner with Louis Tomlinson and a friend. It also has no rules about a person bidding on all three nights.” Niall crosses his arms and his ear flick a little; he’s pleased with what they have come up with. 

Liam sighs, obviously not pleased with the changes Niall and Louis made. “I guess whatever works as long as he agreed to do it. He provides the guard though, I am not going to do that. But whatever works, go ahead and tell Zayn, have him start pulling up ideas, we have got to get on this fast.” 

“Oh relax Mr. Payne, we have plenty of time.” Niall purrs, watching as Liam tenses up. He narrows his eyes at Niall.

“Not in the fucking office, okay?” 

Niall smiles and nods, heading out of the office with his tail swaying behind him, very pleased. He told Liam he would get Louis and he did. He got Louis by getting him drunk and changing the entire auction but -- he got him so, all was good. 

**H.**

Harry’s lying on his floor, a book in hand with his legs swaying behind him. His tail falls flat along his side. He can hear Zayn moving about the kitchen with frustration and after the fifth cabinet door being slammed closed he folds the corner of his book and closes it, rolling over to his back and looking up at the ceiling. He listens for a moment as Zayn groans and slams another door. He can hear the hinge of it opening back up and another heavy thud. Harry moves to his feet and pads into the kitchen, leaning against the small island in the middle. 

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Harry asks as he watches Zayn stare out the kitchen window. 

“I need to make some mock ups for a charity ad and I’m stuck. I don’t want to go with the normal, typical shit. I feel like I could easily just replace the celeb’s name and the date of every event. All my shit looks the same.” 

Harry nods, unsure what to say. He doesn’t know a thing about any of that because if you ask him to do it, you’ll end up with a stick figure and some randomly placed emojis. He walks over to him and reaches for Zayn’s tail, running his fingers through the long black fur. He watches as Zayn relaxes a little and smiles to himself. 

“Have you looked at other charity advertisements? What’s this one for?” 

Zayn glances over at Harry, “Silent Auction like they do every year. This time it’s a chance to have a dinner for two with Louis Tomlinson. One of three chances. So, six people over three nights. He wanted a mor-- _Ow babe stop_, you’re squeezing my tail.” Zayn reaches out and tugs his tail away from Harry, frowning at him. 

“What the fuck was that for?” he asks and Harry frowns.

“I’m so sorry, Z. I thought you said Louis Tomlinson.”

“I did say Louis Tomlinson, Harry. I literally said his full name.” 

“Yeah okay but.” Harry’s shoulders slump. He hasn’t heard that name in years. Well, directly. He can’t avoid Louis completely, he’s everywhere. Captain of the team, helped Manchester United win championships. He was a poster boy. He was fast and agile and sought after. Harry was so proud of him, and he always would be. But he was a part of his past. Harry has successfully been able to keep him in the past, despite the occasional glimpses of him on media, a billboard, and whatever else they could put his face on. But he has never thought that he would be this close again. He frowns and he can hear Zayn speaking as he tugs on his bottom lip. He has to try for one of those nights. When they separated, when he never showed to leave with Louis, it tore them both apart. Harry ruined more than a relationship, he ruined a friendship. All because of fear.

Fear that he was afraid of facing and he hadn’t even taken a moment to think what Louis being signed meant for Louis, how scared Louis may have been. How much he may have needed Harry by his side, more than Harry needed him. And because of the fear he didn’t show up to the train when they’d been set to leave. He didn’t respond to any of Louis’ calls or text and worse of all, he didn’t even explain to Lottie when she saw him two days later. She’d hunted him down like a cat after prey, finding him in a hotel room in a small coastal town. He still doesn’t know how she found him. She called him all sorts of things that day, and told him to fix it. Told Harry that he was throwing away more than a relationship and friendship, but a family too, and the hurt was all over her face. 

“How do I go to this event?” Harry speaks up, finding that Zayn is now over by the fridge, closing it as he looks at Harry.

“Why do you want to go? I tried to get you to go last year and you said no.” Zayn asks as he opens a can of soda, he licks his thumb before taking a slow sip.

“Because I just do. How much are tickets to the dinner fundraiser?” 

Zayn shakes his head, “Don’t worry. You can be my plus one, just donate to a charity.” 

Harry nods and smiles weakly, he plans to, fuck did he plan to. “Thanks, Z. I owe you.”

“Yeah you do, you get to tell me why you suddenly have an interest in this event. Do you fancy Tommo?” 

“It’s a long story.” Harry responds as he moves to leave the kitchen. Zayn reaches out and grabs Harry’s tail. 

Harry yelps and reaches for his tail, pulling it toward him as he runs his hands over the area Zayn had gripped.

“I have plenty of time to hear it, love.” Zayn says, taking another sip of his soda. 

Harry shakes his head, “No, Just...not right now.” 

Harry heads to his room, kicking the door closed behind him before he falls onto the bed. He’s making a stupid mistake. But he’d tried to contact Louis, tried to talk to Lottie. This has got to be the most impulsive thing he’s ever done. But he has to get at least one of those nights. Harry frowns as he sits up, what if Louis is there? He frowns even more as he goes to his door and yells for Zayn. He can tell Zayn is still in the living area by the sound of his voice. 

“Will Louis attend the event?” he hesitantly asks as he walks toward the living area. He spots Zayn on the sofa watching telly. 

Zayn doesn’t even glance from the telly as he responds, “No.” Harry nods and heads back to his room. 

In fairness, Harry knows that this could end in disaster, that it stands a good chance of ending in disaster. “Likely will end in disaster” he mumbles as he falls onto the bed. 

Yet there’s no way he is going to not go and at least bid. Impulsive decisions for Harry are on the rare side. But he still has them and when he does it never ends well. 

**__________**

Harry is floored by the ballroom, the tables set up, and the lights. It looks so over the top and everyone is dressed in gowns and suits. There are rows of tables set up in a circle around the large room where you can bid on items. Harry is watching Zayn as he speaks to some coworkers. He feels overwhelmed in such an extravagant place as Zayn’s eyes flick towards his. Zayn nods subtly at Harry, he knows he’s asking if Harry is alright. Harry smiles and waves before he walks towards the bar. He glances back to see Zayn’s attention is on a female now and he takes a sharp turn towards the tables. 

Harry walks along them, people coming and going to write their amounts, to bid on assorted items. The farther the table, the more extravagant the item. He walked a few more steps and spots a large photo of Louis smiling in front of him, details of the auction beside it. He sees three clipboards with fancy paper and nice lines, different donation amounts written down. 

He scans the room, eyes failing to find Zayn before he picks up the pen chained to the clipboard. He bites his lip and writes his bidding number that he was given at the door, eyeing the last amount. He’s checked and checked and decided he’s comfortable spending at least four hundred. No more. He narrows his eyes at the last person’s bid of two fifty. 

Okay maybe a little over. He writes an amount down, making it only two fifty three. The guidelines at the table say any amount is allowed. It must be at least over by one. He looks at the other boards to see one person has continuously been outbidding and Harry sighs. He goes ahead to the last board, it has the least amount and writes one fifty five on it before he walks away. He’ll go find Zayn, have a drink and come back to it. 

**L.**

Louis sighs as he looks at the clipboards and quickly writes in another amount, once again out bidding everyone who has bid on the nights with him. He will not lose this, it’s his own auction. 

Don’t get him wrong, he loves charity work. Louis absolutely enjoys working with charities, it’s one of his best moments. He loves his fans too. But he loves not going to dinners and sitting with strangers even more. So he’d much rather keep outbidding these people. Besides, the charity still gets their money and he stays home. It really is a win-win for him. He drops the pen on the last clipboard and picks up his drink once more, taking a long sip of the vodka cranberry, frowning that he even asked for a drink at all. He wanders off to his normal corner, staying away from anyone who may spot him. Though he’s not too worried. He was able to get his sister, Daisy to help him wear a disguise. But he knew that with his best mates being here, he is at risk of being discovered, wig and mustache be damned. 

He goes over toward the bar, a corner of which is in the shadows, with barely any light shining on it, and takes a seat. He pushes his half finished drink towards the bartender when she glances his way. Over the obnoxious dated music he orders a vodka, no cranberry and she nods. His eyes scan the room, watching people dance and mingle. People circle the auctions, eyeing his. He mentally shoos them away, frowning when he watches a hybrid wander over. 

The hybrid looks around and quickly writes his bid down on each board before hurrying off. Louis snorts a laugh as he waits a few moments, taking his time to sip his drink and watch people pass his auction. People look at the bids but move on. There are trips to Paris, Amsterdam and Rome to be bid on. Boats to bid on and gift cards to Gucci, Burberry and the such. Louis doesn’t feel hurt to see his be passed up, he too would take the other things over a couple of hours with a footy player. 

Louis swallows back his vodka, pushing the empty glass away from him and gets up, wandering over to the auction table. He places a few bids on a few other things, including a spa day for two which he thinks it might make a good gift for his twin sisters before he moves on to his auction. He looks at the hybrid’s number and his bids before he glances around, not finding them anywhere. Louis shrugs and bids one over also. He smiles, pleased with himself as he walks off. He went back to his dark spot of the room and orders a rum and coke, sipping on it as he watches people bid on him, bid on other things. He starts to get bored as time goes by, glancing at his watch. Bidding has an hour to go before they pull the boards and announce the winning number. The number is to make it simple. It’s the last four digits of their ticket for the event. This way if a person wants to be anonymous they could be. Also the organizers have all the contact information from when the ticket was purchased. So if the winner of an auction isn’t there, they could contact them at a later time. 

Louis has a few more drinks, deciding the best bet will be to toss in a final bid before the boards are gathered. Until he sees the hybrid approach in the same cautious manner. He narrowed his eyes at them, able to tell it’s a male hybrid but not much else with the way the movement of the lights won’t brighten them up. They go through each of the boards, tossing the pen down on the third one and walking off in a hurry. Louis picks up his drink and wanders over. They outbid everyone by two dollars this time. He smiles and proceeds to copy the amount over each bid. 

**H**.

Harry sighs in frustration. He’s gone over his own goal set for bidding on Louis by three times the amount on two of the nights. One night is just barely there and he suspects it will go over as well. He isn’t sure what he will do when he wins. He has to pay it and he really hopes he doesn’t win all three. He turns around to see a silver headed man, or purple depending the way the lights flash across his hair, walk away from the table. He doesn’t even bother to look to see if Zayn watches him this time as he goes over and sees the person has outbid him by two dollars. Harry sighs and does the same before he drops the pen and walks away. He needs a drink, a hard drink. And Zayn, he should find him. He hasn’t talked to him since he first started to bid. Harry’s just been doing his own thing, moving around the room and watching people. But as he glances over his shoulder he spots the same man approaching the table and writing a bid down. 

Harry narrows his eyes at him. As soon as the man walks away, Harry scurries over, his long tail wrapped around his waist as he picks up the pen._ Three over. _ Harry takes a deep breath and bids over one, two, and three respectively on the boards. 

It’s something that continues, the dance they start to do with the bids. One bids and the other one ups them. It’s like a weird waltz where they keep fighting to lead. No one else is bidding at this point and the clock above the tables ticks by. A voice speaks over the mic and announces last call on bids. Harry scribbles a number far higher than he thought he would as he watches people move towards the auctions. He holds his breath as he spots the man with the silver hair immediately move to Louis’ auction and write his bids down. 

Harry turns his back to him before he takes a deep breath. People pass him, moving towards Louis’ auction. Harry almost walks away, giving in. But after people start to make their way to their tables he spots one of Zayn’s co-workers picking up the boards and turns his back, stalking over to Louis’ auction. Only one person bid so it’s only a dollar over. He quickly adds a bid, noticing a hand grab the pen at the first board. He takes a deep breath and focuses on what he’s doing before he circles back, and immediately ups the price by three. 

The man copies Harry’s actions without even looking at him, simply waiting for him to step aside. Harry rounds him once more and writes a bid down just as the female worker reaches for the board. She pulls her hand back and lets him, giving him that last chance. He steps away with his arms up and exhales heavily. He makes a beeline towards his table, not looking back. He got that one and he knew it and he’s wound up and feels like he needs a shot of something strong. His nerves are tingling and he tensed up. As he draws near to his table a hand reaches for him, stopping him. A voice is immediately near him, whispering a raspy congratulations. The voice is familiar in rasp and tone and Harry freezes. All adrenaline drains from him. As soon as the hand let’s go the man - Louis - passes him. He turns away, hoping he doesn’t know it was him. 

He knows if Louis had known it was him he would have said something, anything besides a congratulations. 

**L.**

Louis watches the hybrid write their bid down and there is something about the hand holding the pen. But he can’t place the hybrid. His hair is falling in his face and the lights are aimed at the stage now. It’s dimly lit and Louis thinks it’s a poor set up for a bidding table. He makes a mental note to tell Niall how stupid it is to have poor lighting over here. The hybrid circles back around Louis and he catches a hint of his cologne. It’s sweet and spicy and it stirs a familiar feeling deep inside. One that Louis can’t place. It’s almost there, a feeling just out of reach. He can feel it but he can’t place what it belongs to, what memory it's trying to pull up from the depths of his mind. He hears the click of heels over the low music and chatter in the room and looks over as Lauren reaches for the board. The hybrid is practically on it before she can lift it, writing a final bid and Louis drops his pen, having written a bid for the last night. 

Louis is so distracted by the whole event of bidding and the familiar scent that he didn't realise he could have seen the hybrid's face if only he'd looked.

Louis wins two out of three. The hybrid wins one night. The charity will get a decent chunk of money from Louis’ auction. He relaxes and decides one night with two people won’t harm anyone. 

He spots the familiar tail of the hybrid who now has stirred familiar feelings deep inside. He takes a deep breath and walks towards them and reaches out to stop them. Before they can turn round he leans in and whispers a soft congratulations. The hybrid tenses up and he drops his hand, stepping aside to continue his exit. As Louis leaves he pulls his cigarettes out and lights one just as his foot hits the concrete outside the large double doors to the ballroom. The cool night air blows across his skin as he waits for the valet to bring his car around. 

Once Louis gets home he immediately removes the wig and fake facial hair, wiping some makeup off his face. He looks at his distorted reflection, the mix of makeup and himself, one contact in his eye that is brown and one his normal blue. He can’t believe he went to such lengths to avoid having dinner with six strangers. But he’s tired. He’s tired of always being treated like an animal in a zoo. Going to the market late Saturday in dirty joggers and an oversized torn jumper, a beanie covering his greasy hair and having people ooh and aww at him is tiring, the random photos online of him picking out dish soap is tiring. It’s all pulling him down. He loves his career, he loves his life, but he wants a break. 

Which is why he hasn’t signed the contract agreeing to come back next season. He got injured and he thought he would hate it, but he’s loving it. He’s enjoying the break from the tight schedule. Just living his life and being lazy. As soon as he started physical therapy he started doing what he could to get into shape, to stay in shape. As soon as he was cleared to go back on the field, he did with Niall. Now he just has kick abouts with mates and it’s casual and relaxing, and he loves it. It causes Louis to look back and realise he started to fall out of love with playing professionally. Don’t get him wrong he still loves it, just not in the way he used to. 

**H.**

Harry was laying on the sofa in shorts and an oversized shirt, his tail laying over his legs as he sighs and tosses the remote onto the table. It has been two days since he spent far too much money on a chance to see Louis once more and it has been plenty of time to try and figure out how to get out of it. No one has contacted him yet about winning and he figures they would once the details got sorted. He debates ignoring everyone and calling his bank to say it was a fraudulent charge. He can’t do that, it was for charity. It was for a chance to see Louis again. Harry hasn't stopped to think what Louis will say when he shows up. Will he know it’s Harry in advance? Will he back out of it? Harry pushes up off the sofa as the front door opens and closes. He looks up to find Zayn with a folder in his hand. He drops it on the side table by the sofa and Harry’s name is on it in someone else's writing. 

Harry grabs it and opens it, pausing when he realises it’s the information for his dinner with Louis. During the whole thought process of making such an impulsive thought, Harry didn’t think it would get back to Zayn. He assumed as long as he didn’t see him place a bid all was well. He looks over at Zayn who’s coming out of the kitchen with a beer in his hand. Zayn smiles at Harry with a shit eating grin. 

“Fine but you don’t get to comment.” Harry says as he looked through the papers.

“Oh no, love. I totally do. Why didn’t you just say something? I literally could have helped you meet him if you wanted. He’s best mates with Niall.” 

Harry stares at Zayn. He sighs dramatically and sits down on the sofa with a huff. Zayn walks over and joins him, he’s close enough that Harry’s body leans into Zayn’s. 

“What? It’s true. Do you have any regrets? We can just give it to the next on the list you know. Shit happens, we deal with back outs on auctions all the time. We just tell the other person they won.” 

“Wait, you can do that? No, no don’t. No I don't. It’s just a long story.” Harry responds as he opens the folder once more. 

“And I have nothing to do. So are you going to tell me now or wait till another day?” 

Harry thinks it over, he doesn’t see why he shouldn’t tell Zayn. But he also doesn’t want to tell him because it’s his. It’s his secret and his thing and once he says it all, it's no longer his thing. No longer something from his past that he carries with him. It becomes a thing again, a discussion. 

“I was dating Louis when he was picked up for Man U.” 

Whatever reaction he thought would happen, Zayn frowning wasn’t it. Harry raises an eyebrow at him, waiting for something. But nothing comes. Zayn just looks at him sadly. So he continues as he looks away. Because he can’t look at Zayn. Not when he looks like someone kicked a puppy, or kitten what with his ears flattened against his hair.

“I was supposed to move here with him and I got scared. The lead up had been parties and parties and events and it was so much. I always ended up with the other partners. I learned fast some of them were not even, like some of those guys played merry go round with partners and.” He turns a page over, it’s his time and the place they will meet. Fitting as it was the last place they ever had a romantic dinner, when they had been in town to find Louis a place to live. Harry huffs out a laugh. “I didn’t think I could be what was expected of me by him or anyone else. It was so much and a lot for me to handle and all I wanted was to be with Louis. I didn’t want to be the partner of Louis Tomlinson for Manchester United. I didn’t want to be asked about the dirty secrets he may have held. I just wanted to support him and I didn’t think I could.” 

Harry looks over at Zayn who’s watching him intently, one of his ears twitch against his head, a crease between his brows as he nods. “I never stopped to think what Louis may have needed from me. I just thought about what I wanted and I threw it away.” 

“H, sometimes you have to put yourself first. Him being signed wasn’t going to just affect him. Obviously it changed things for you. The spouses rarely go under the radar, they’re watched and looked at and inspected almost as much as the players.”

“But I didn’t even talk to Louis. I just failed to show up at the train station. I left him with no other words. His sister found me in a hotel hours away and pretty much told me to never contact their family again. I tried a few weeks later but I was blocked. From every corner of that family and through the few mutual friends we had. I was cut off.” 

Zayn nods some, putting a hand on Harry’s tail and running his fingers through the soft fur. A few ringlet curls wrap around his finger as he twists them through the fur. “Babe, I don’t know what to say.” Zayn’s tail taps lightly against Harry’s leg.

Harry laughs lightly. He thinks if he doesn’t laugh, he may cry. He rolls his eyes at himself as he swallows. “I thought if I bid and win, I would have a chance to see him again. Just to explain myself. I never meant to hurt him, I never thought about him in that moment andI think not being honest with Louis was worse than just not showing up.” 

Zayn doesn’t respond, he keeps running his fingers through Harry’s tail. “Aren’t you going to say something?” 

Zayn looks at Harry and shrugs, “Are you wanting me to tell you not to go? I won’t. I'll take you to Louis’ place now even. You owe it to him and yourself to tell him the truth. He’s not going to jump for joy, he isn’t going to be thrilled. But one thing he will do is listen.” 

“I feel like I made the biggest mistake ever.”

“Because you did. Look, I love you to death. You’re my best friend. But the truth is you fucked up. I don’t have to tell you to think about how he must have felt because I know that is something you have thought about. I know you enough to know that is something you think about, still. But I know in your heart you want to make this right. So do it. Niall is supposed to oversee the meeting and a guard too. I can’t change a guard being there but I can change Niall. “

Harry licks his lips and nods, looking back at the paper. Next week. He has a week to wait a week to think. Think about everything he wanted to say, needed to say. He has one chance. At least he hopes he has one chance. There is a chance that Louis could just up and leave. He needs to do this right, he isn’t seeking Louis out to win him back. He just owes him so much. He wants to close the book on them, end this chapter. Move on from Louis and he knows deep down until he is up front and honest with him, he could never move on fully. He owes it to himself and to Louis to be honest. 

**H.**

Harry thinks he may hyperventilate. He was supposed to have left already and he is still standing in his living area by the sofa. Zayn is staring at him with annoyance and Harry can’t do anything but shrug. Harry’s twisting the fur of his tail between his hands with worry and Zayn sighs as he walks over to Harry. 

“Alright, so you need to go. Like ten minutes ago. Why are you still standing here?” His tail sways sharply behind him as he speaks.

Harry blinks a few times before he looks at Zayn, “I can’t do this. I really can’t do this.” 

“Well that’s lovely but you’re going to go. If you don’t do this, you will fucking regret it. Now get out, please. I have company coming over.” Zayn walks around Harry and pushes him forward. 

Harry stumbles before he drops his tail and walks out the front door. The car that is taking Harry is sitting outfront idling and he feels bad making the driver wait. He walks over and the driver opens the back door for Harry. He smiles and tosses a quiet apology as he gets in. He closes his eyes and tilts his head back on the leather seat, the car smells like new car and he rolls his head and looks out the tinted window. The lights of the early evening city pass him by in a blur as they drive. Before Harry knows it they pull up to the curb of a fancy restaurant. He looks out the window as his stomach flips, tightening up with nerves. The driver gets out and walks around, opening the door for Harry. A distant rumble rolls through the air. He gets out of the car and tugs at his suit jacket. His white button down shirt unbuttoned to the third button, showing his chest and he debates buttoning it up, but he’s never been one to do that. He’s not going to start now. His hands swipe over his black trousers as his tail drapes against his leg. 

Harry feels like he’s going to vomit as the double glass doors with the gold trim are opened in a grand opening by two doormen dressed in suits. They both nod at him as he enters the restaurant, a woman standing at the doorway with a bright smile. It’s decorated in red and gold and it’s over the top but Harry suppresses a chuckle as his lips form a soft smile. It’s very Louis. Harry remembers the time when they both arrived, hand in hand to the same smiling face on another hostess. 

She asks for Harry’s name and he fumbles, “Starry Hyles.” She frowns and pulls her board away from her chest where she’s holding it.

“Harry Styles, I’m sorry.” She nods curtly and leads the way to the back room. Another familiar thing as he replays that night in his head. Somehow Louis had gotten the restaurant to give them a private table and it had been the best night ever. The discussions of their future had been promising and hopeful, filled with excitement and love. The door is opened by another man in a suit as she leads the way into the familiar room, Harry’s stomach drops. Too much is happening at once. 

The woman smiles, “Mr Tomlinson will be here in a moment, please have a seat and your waitress tonight will be Nic.” 

Harry watches as she leaves, eyes the table and hesitates before he takes a seat, his back to the door. He sits there quietly, listening to the quiet murmuring of people outside the room. He takes a moment to reel his thoughts in, pull his emotions back and close his eyes, his head slightly tilted and his hands in his hair. He knows that he’s messing it up but he didn’t care, he can’t care right now. Because he knows at any moment Louis was going to walk through that door and he’s going to be face to face with a person from his past. 

It falls quiet and Harry doesn’t even hear when the door opens and closes with a small snick. He does however hear it when there’s a clearing of someone's throat and he startles, scooting the chair back in such a rush that it nearly falls over as he moves to his feet. Louis is standing there staring at him. His hands clasped in front and his legs slightly apart. He looks so handsome and beautiful and Harry feels a tug at his chest. 

“Louis.” It falls from his lips, almost a whisper and Louis tilts his head.

“Harold. Have a seat.” Louis walks around the table and sits across from Harry and he’s slightly confused. 

He wasn’t sure what he expected. Wasn’t sure what would happen but this wasn’t it. 

“I got a visit from Zayn a few days ago. He told me you had bid and won. You won against me, by the way. I was trying to out bid you.” Harry starts to open his mouth and Louis raises a hand to stop him as he takes his seat once more. “I was told that you had won and I laughed in his face because why, why the fuck would you of all people bid on a dinner with me? And he told me why, he told me what you apparently told him. Only without some details, stating you needed to tell them to me. And I said okay because in all fairness, Harry.” Louis clears his throat and leans back in his chair. 

“As happy as I would be to never see you again, I owe you this for charity. And I guess I owe you the chance to say whatever it is you feel you have to say. Since you paid so much to do it.” Louis’ tone is short and stern and Harry swallows, reaching for a glass of water as the doors open and wait staff file in.

“I took the liberty of ordering for you, I hope you don’t mind.” 

Harry shakes his head. He doesn’t even have an appetite, hasn’t even thought about food. He glances at the plate that a waitress sets down with a bright smile. It’s the meal he ordered the night they ate here and his eyes go directly to Louis. Louis’ got a slight smirk tugging at the corner of his lips and anyone else may not see it but Harry knew him, knew that look. It’s almost like he’s in the middle of a game being played by Louis. Harry thanks the waitress and she nods at him as she looks over at Louis and back at Harry. She asks if there is anything else they need and Louis politely excuses her. 

Louis pulls the fabric napkin from the table and drapes it over his lap. He picks up his utensils and looks at Harry with an eyebrow raised, “I hope what I ordered for you is okay?” 

Harry swallows and looks at his meal, he needs to reel himself in. He feels like he’s sixteen again, not twenty-seven. He copies Louis’ actions, glancing back at him as he puts a piece of chicken in his mouth. His eyes are cast down towards his food so Harry starts to eat his own. The chicken is as good as he remembers and that’s when he realises just how hungry he is. He practically moans around his fork and his eyes shoot up towards Louis. He’s holding his own bite on his fork, his elbow on the table with a smirk on his face. He plucks the chicken between his teeth and chews with his mouth closed. They eat in quiet and it’s a heavy silence. One that always reminds Harry of waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Once they're done eating Louis pushes the plate away from him and crosses his arms on top of the table. He stares at Harry as if he’s trying to read him, like pages in a book. Only the book is shut tight and Harry pushes his own plate away. He licks his lips as he grabs his glass of wine and takes a hefty sip, swallowing the warm liquid back. It’s a bitter sweet, a lot like this moment. 

“So, Harry Styles. The boy of my dreams, the love of my life. _The breaker of my heart._” The last words are spat out with a disgusted tone and Harry’s eyes drop, his shoulders drop and he’s staring at the table. 

“Look at me.” The sternness in Louis’ voice is heavy and Harry draws his eyes up, their eyes lock and meet and Harry is almost afraid to blink. Like a staring contest. Louis blinks first and takes a sip of his own wine. 

He sets his glass down and swirls the liquid around in the glass, his eyes slowly move back to Harry’s. He raises the glass and tilts it at Harry. “So, Harold. To what do I owe the well, very_ expensive _on your part, pleasure?” He drinks the rest of his wine back and leans back in his chair. His arms are on either side of him and he’s slouched slightly. 

Harry lets himself stare, stare at the way Louis’ trousers fit his thighs, the way his shirt is wrinkled as if he had taken it out of a hamper. Louis’ fringe falls in his face and he flicks it away. He looks both put together and like he’d had a long day and just gotten home. He looks like a king on his throne as he stares Harry down from across the table. Louis’ eyes narrow slightly and Harry can see him swallow. He’s not shaven in a few weeks and Harry wants to rub his hand across the scruff of his beard. 

Harry fails to respond in a timely manner and Louis clears his throat, “Why are you here? Why did you pay so much money to see me?”

Harry shrugs a little, his eyes falling from Louis towards the table. “I felt I owed you an apology.”

“Bit late for that, no?” 

Harry’s lip twitches and he looks up at Louis, “Someone told me once that it’s never too late to let someone know when you did them wrong.”

“Well, as wise as that person sounds, we aren’t nineteen anymore. Sometimes, it’s too late.” 

“I’m sorry, Louis.” Harry says, his voice feels shaky as the words fall from his lips. Words he’s thought for years and now gets to say. 

“You hurt me.” It’s blunt and to the point and it stings. He deserves it.“Why did you hurt me? Why did you leave me standing alone?” 

Harry’s eyes meet Louis’ and the hurt is present, the hurt that still lingers inside Louis is showing and Harry won’t let himself look away. He did this to him, he should face it. He swallows and reaches for his water taking a big sip and setting it down. He glances at the melting ice, watching as they move in a circle in his glass. He forces himself to meet Louis’ eyes again. 

“I was afraid of the change that would come with being with you.” 

Louis snorts and leans forward, his arms on the table and his head cast down, he shakes his head before he speaks. “Really? What about me? I was leaving my home, my family too. I thought, well at least I had you, at least I had my fucking boyfriend. The man I only a week previously talked about getting married to. In this exact place, exact spots. And then you just didn't show up? I thought the worst. I thought something had happened to you.” He looks up at Harry and his eyes are brimming with a shine and Harry looks away. 

“I grabbed a ride and went to your place and you were gone. Just, nowhere to be found and the entire fucking time, I didn’t think you left me. I thought something had happened to you. I was scared I’d lost you.” Louis swallows and laughs lightly; an airy laugh that shows no humour. It’s riddled with hurt and he tells Harry to look at him. 

Harry slowly pulls Louis into focus, his tail is in his lap and he drops his hands to the fur, running his fingers through it in comfort. 

“Little did I know that I had lost you.” 

Harry can’t break the stare between the two of them, but he has to because it hurts. But it isn’t fair because he did this, he caused this hurt. His eyes shift to the wall behind Louis before they fall back on him once more. He’s not looking at Harry, he’s looking down, picking at the cloth napkin in his hands. His shoulders shake as a laugh falls from his lips. 

“When I found out you did leave me --” 

“I didn’t leave you.” Harry interrupts, realising too late that was a bad move as Louis stands abruptly, the chair falling back as he does. 

“No, Harry. _You fucking left me_. You broke up with me and left me and didn’t even have the fucking balls to tell me to my face. I find out from your fucking mother that you’re off in some hotel. No, Harry you left me. You fucking left me. You don’t get to sit there and tell me otherwise. Wake up!” 

Louis picks up the chair and sits back down, his hands flat on the arms as he looked at Harry, a glare in his eyes and Harry shakes his head. 

“You left me, you left me and it fucking hurt. I’ve never felt the anger that I felt that day since. I had never felt that much anger beforehand. I was angry. The hurt? It came but it came months later.”

“I’m sorry.” Harry whispers as he tugs lightly at his tail. 

“Why did you do it?” Louis’ tone is softer, kinder and Harry blinks a few times. 

“I was scared of the changes. I was scared of the attention and being around the other spouses. I-- I was just scared of it all. It was so much and I felt like I couldn’t handle it.” 

“Why not just fucking tell me? You didn’t even have to move with me right away, Harry. You asked me if you could. We could have worked it out long distance, we did it plenty of times before.” 

Harry relaxes a little and looks up at Louis, “Really? Signed to a new team, signed to a big team, fucking Man U. Getting Captain so fast, big contract. You became the new fucking poster boy, Louis. You were everywhere. How could it of worked out? How? I was at parties and events with you for six months before you moved. Every fucking party where was I? With the fucking spouses. Listening to who fucked who, who sucked whom off. The cheating that went on, the parties that went on without the spouses. The fucking shit I heard from them, that scared me. I trusted you with my fucking life but that shit was a whole other level of a world that I didn’t know if I could handle.” He looks down at his hands before he takes a deep breath. His eyes narrow once they meet Louis’ once more. 

“Tell me, Louis. How could we of worked if you were on every channel, every telly and poster and doing so much practice, all the interviews. All the parties. How could we have worked out long distance? I already felt like I was watching you slip from my grasp. I already felt like I lost you.” 

Louis nods and stands from his chair. He walks towards a large mirror in the middle of the room, fixing his fringe. His eyes meet Harry’s and Harry stands, taking a deep breath as he walks over to Louis. He’s behind him and he can smell the cigarettes and his cologne. 

“Maybe we were just not meant to be.” He says to Harry in the mirror and Harry keeps his eyes locked on Louis’. 

“Maybe. Not everyone finds their soulmate the first time around.” Harry responds. 

Louis turned, he was face to face with Harry, a few feet apart. Louis reaches out and rubs one of Harry’s triangular ears between his thumb and index finger. A thing he used to do when they fought, when the fighting calmed and their voices settled. Louis leans forward a little, his lips a breathes away from Harry’s. “Can I kiss you?” he asks in a low whisper. 

Harry almost didn’t hear it, thankful he did as he nods. Louis leans all the way in and their lips meet, Louis’ beard scratches his skin and he closes eyes. It’s a slow gentle kiss and it’s over before Harry can even register that it has happened. Louis is walking back over to the table and grabs his ice water and takes a drink. Harry watches him as he looked at the ice and sets the glass down. 

“I forgive you.” And with that he’s gone. The trailing scent of his cologne drifting past Harry as Louis leaves and it falls quiet. 

**__________**

The bedroom door slams open causing Harry to be suddenly pulled from a deep sleep. In his confusion, all he could take in was the sound of Zayn yelling and a loud noise. 

“What have you done?” Zayn keeps yelling the same question and Harry is very lost. 

He tries to tug a thought, a memory, something to the forefront of his mind as he sits up and squints at Zayn. 

“Wha?” He asks but it comes out thick and he smacks his mouth a few times, reaching for the water bottle on his bedside table. He takes a hefty drink, swallowing the room temperature liquid back like he needs it to breath. Zayn’s not said anything, just stands there and watches Harry. 

As soon as the water bottle is sat down he asks again, just as loud, just as riddled with anger. “What have you fucking done?” 

Harry sighs, “I do have to ask what the fuck you’re on about, mate?” 

Zayn circles the room in place before he seems to find what he’s looking for and grabs the telly remote and turns it on. It’s on low as he flips through channels and stops when Louis’ face appears. At first dread settles through him, no one’s on the morning news for no reason at all. Zayn turns the volume up. 

“Manchester United Captain, Louis Tomlinson, has announced his retirement this morning.” They keep talking but Harry doesn’t listen as he looked over at Zayn.

“I had no part in that.” He’s pointing at the telly and Zayn shakes his head.

“Yeah? Wasn’t that the bloody reason you fucking pissed off? Because he got picked up?”

“More or less.” It’s honest, he’s not going to lie. “But there was more to it, Zayn. I have nothing to do with him doing this. Nothing. We left on neutral grounds.” Eh, more or less he thinks. 

The waitress, Nic came back a few moments after Louis left and asked if Harry needed anything else. He proceeded to ask for the rest of the bottle they’d been drinking and dank from it while sitting at Louis’ end of the table. He left her a hefty tip and the car that brought hi took him home. That was after the driver finally agreed to take Harry to get some ice cream and take a drive around the city. Harry liked the driver. 

“How can you sit there and lie to me?” Zayn shakes his head as he puts his hands on his hips. 

Harry snorts, “What the fuck? The fact that you think I’m why he’s doing this is fucked up. Who are you? My best friend would never do this.” 

“Well maybe I don’t know you as well as I thought I did.” Those words hit Harry like a shit ton of bricks all at once. 

He looks away from Zayn as he lets out an airy laugh. “Get out.” It was low and stern. He could tell Zayn stood there for a moment before he left the room, slamming Harry’s door closed behind him. 

Harry looks over at the telly, an old interview with Louis after a game is airing, he’s smiling and laughing. He looked so happy. Harry turns off the telly and rolls out of bed, grabs a pair of joggers off the floor and a hoodie from his closet. He grabs some sneakers and socks and gets dressed. His phone’s half dead and he doesn’t care. He’s angry and he needs to get out of the house. When he leaves his bedroom, Niall and Zayn are in the living area. Zayn’s got Louis on facetime and Harry can see him when he comes into view. His hair is a mess and he’s shirtless, he looks like he’s just woken up. Zayn moves his phone some and Louis falls quiet. Harry rushes past them all and out the front door. 

He looks at the time on his phone, the sky is overcast and it’s comfortable outside as far as the temperature goes. He pockets his phone and tugs the hood up over his head. He takes a few deep breaths and looks both ways down the block, trying to figure out which way to go. He shakes his body out and doesn’t even bother doing any stretches before his feet hit the pavement. He keeps his breathing steady as he runs, his hands in a tight fist and his tail held tight to his body, around his waist. He lets his hands fall open and shakes them out, releasing the tension from his arms as he slows on a turn. 

Adrenaline courses through his veins with each foot against the concrete, with each sound of his breath flowing out of his lungs. He feels his whole body working; his leg muscles running warm, fresh air enters his lungs and blood flows into all his limbs. Harry closes his eyes briefly after he glances both ways at an oncoming street, not spotting any cars he runs across the street, turning towards his right. He doesn’t have a destination in mind, just that he needs to move. 

He eventually slows down into a steady jog which moves into a fast walk as he feels his heart slamming into the walls of his chest. He inhales heavily through his nose and lets it flow slowly out his mouth as he comes to a complete stop, putting his hands on his knees as he leans down and breathes in deeply. He hears bells chime behind him as he puts his focus on his surroundings, people moving around him where he stands in the middle of a sidewalk. He stands straighter and stretches his arms above his head, his tail falling against the back of his right leg as he turns and takes a step forward without looking and his body collides with another person. Harry startles and his hands shoot out to grab the other person to keep them from falling. 

“Are you fucking kidding me.” The familiar voice registered without a second thought and Harry dropped his hands from Louis’ shoulders. 

As if it wasn’t bad enough the sky opens up at that moment. A loud crackle of thunder rips through the air and rain began to fall heavily and quickly. People scurry around them to get out of it and Harry just stares at Louis who narrows his eyes. A shake of his head and he reaches down, taking Harry’s hand and tugging him along. They move from a quick walk into a jog across the street and down some before Louis presses a few numbers into a keypad and the door buzzes. They jog up the stairs, getting soaked as they go and Harry has no idea why he’s following Louis. Why Louis is even pulling him along. 

He’s going, though, without a thought, watching as Louis’ soaked joggers stick to the back of his thighs while they take the stairs up and eventually stop on a balcony and Louis enters more numbers, opening the door to his flat.

Harry looks around and it’s the same place they had both picked out. He takes a deep breath, the heavy scent of Louis and his home, the subtle mixture of cigarettes and vanilla candles. Harry swallows because this feels like some sick punishment. Louis tries to flip the light switch on the wall but nothing happens and he curses under his breath. Harry watches as Louis walks over towards the balcony doors and pulls the door open slightly. The heavy scent of rain on warm pavement flows in with the sound of the rain falling. Louis’ tugging his shirt off and laying it over a chair outside, his joggers following and Harry swallowed as Louis turned around and runs his fingers through his hair. 

Louis’ staring Harry down with a look and Harry knew that look, he nodded a little and Louis returned the nod. 

“You can lay your clothes out there, I can’t promise they’ll stay dry but I just had the flooring redone.” 

Harry nods, that makes no sense really as Louis had just walked across the flooring to the balcony. He pulls his phone from his pockets, thankful it isn’t too wet and places it on the mantel as he walks towards Louis. Harry tugs his hoodie off and Louis takes it, laying it on a chair. The balcony has tin roofing and there's a faint tink, tink noise as rain hits it. Harry uses his feet to kick his shoes off by the door of the balcony and moves his thumbs along the waistline of his joggers. He hesitates for a moment as Louis raises an eyebrow. 

Louis’ eyes drag up and down the lower half of Harry’s body and he smirks with a shrug, “Nothing I’ve not already seen.” 

Harry pushed his joggers down and Louis takes them, putting them with his hoodie. Harry steps away from the door. There are some flats across the street and a couple are out on their balcony. He doesn’t need to give them anything to see. When Louis turns around he walks over to Harry, his boxer briefs are white and there are wet patches in the best of places. Harry licks his lips and lets his eyes go up Louis’ torso. Louis’ crowding Harry against the wall by the front door, his lips parted and his breath hot on his jaw that's still damp from the rain. 

“I just need to know one thing.” Louis says as he cages Harry in with his arms on either side of his ribs. Harry’s tail moves up and brushes Louis’ thigh. 

“Do you want this?” He asks and Harry searches his face. The wrinkles by his eyes, the bright blueness of them staring him down like a deer in headlights. 

“Yes” And that’s it. As the words leave his mouth in what felt like slow motion, Louis moves on him. His lips against Harry’s and his hands on his side and lower back, pulling him in, against him. Their wet bodies colliding as the thunder snaps around them and the hail begins to fall like an avalanche from the sky. The loud pattering on the metal roofing and against the metal chairs and table reminds Harry of marbles being spilled. 

Harry sighs against Louis’ mouth. The feeling of his facial hair against his skin once more, the way his hands move and his lips part. It’s all so Louis and so familiar. Harry closes his eyes and lets himself be taken away to a time where this was done out of love and not anger. To a time where Louis’ hands on him were slow and gentle, not quick and hard as he moves them to the sofa. A moment in their lives when Louis’ teeth nipping at his neck was an action of love and not just passion filled anger. Harry swallows and tilts his head back as his tail wraps his thigh and his hands find Louis’ shoulders. He pushes Louis downward, feeling his lips across his abdomen, his hands spreading his thighs apart. 

With every moment of Louis’ lips and hands on him, Harry puts the memories of the touches, of the nips and scratches to another moment in his life with Louis. With every push of his fingers, the warmth of his mouth around him, he places that feeling to another time. A time when they were happy. When they where a fairytale ending waiting to happen. As Louis slides into Harry with a slow ease, as he leans down and brings his lips to Harry’s neck, he thrusts into him at a slow pace. It’s so slow and Harry arches into it, his fingers dig into Louis’ shoulder. His tail has wrapped around Louis’ thigh and his in a weird way and he knew Louis felt the silk of the fur across his bare thigh as he buried his face into Harry’s neck. The soft gasps that fall from Louis’ mouth twist something inside of Harry. It’s all so slow, it’s all so painfully slow, physically and metaphorically. Harry pushes Louis away, pulling his legs up as he moves. 

“Off, off get off me.” He repeats as he pushes Louis off and Louis bless his heart backs off and away from Harry in a matter of minutes. 

He’s by the fireplace, his arms crossed and a worried look. Harry tilts his head and smiles weakly, “Love, if you’re going to fuck me, I would like for you to fuck the ever living hell out of me. I want to feel it tomorrow. None of this slow bullshit. You’ve got it all wrong.” 

Louis raises an eyebrow at Harry and drops his arms, his hands on himself as he tugs a few times at his hard cock. Harry stands up and turns around, arching his ass into the air as he leans against the back of the sofa. He feels Louis’ hand on between his shoulder blades, feels his cock pushing back into him. A hand on his tail with a slight tug and he moans. He moans as Louis pulls back and pushes in harder, with each thrust a tug on his tail. It’s rough and fast. Their moans filtering out the sound of the rain as the thunder ripples through the air. Louis’ digging his fingers into Harry’s back and Harry tilts his head down, tightening his grip on the back of the sofa. 

“Are you going to fuck me or not?” Harry grits out between moans and he hears Louis snort behind him. A sharp pull on his tail sends him backwards into Louis’ chest. His arm around Harry’s waist. 

Harry wraps his tail around Louis’ wrist, can feel his palm squeezing part of it in his grip. It stings where he pulled but he wants more as he tilts his head back on Louis’ shoulder. Louis licks a strip across Harry’s shoulder and bites into the flesh before kissing his neck. 

“I’m pretty sure ‘m fucking you, love.” He kisses down Harry’s neck and pushes him back into the sofa, pushing his cock back into him with a force that drives them both forward. 

Harry closes his eyes and licks his chapped lips. Louis’ let go of his tail and he unwraps it from his wrist as Louis starts his hard pace back up against Harry. Harry ran his tail down Louis’ thigh. The way Harry’s being fucked into the grey sofa is hard and fast. All he wants to do is come, he feels close and he swallows a moan. He wants to push Louis though, wants to get him talking and he’s not sure he has it in him to hold out. He reaches down with one hand and grips his own cock tightly. 

“If this is what--” He bites his bottom lip hard, a gasp being suppressed through his teeth. “This is what you call fucking? Getting a little bored over here.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Every word is punctuate by a hard thrust and Harry tries to not moan but he thinks it slips out on the last thrust. He squeezes hard on his cock and closes his eyes tightly. 

“You fuck like this is your first time, Tomlinson.” He bites into the fabric of the sofa as Louis grabs his hips and slams into him. 

Louis pulls out after that and Harry glanced over his shoulder at him. He’s eyeing Harry’s ass, eyeing him on his knees bent over the sofa. Harry sways his tail from left to right and raises an eyebrow at Louis.

“You think you can do better?” Louis asks as he strokes himself lightly. 

Harry nods with a smirk, “I’ll fuck you so hard you can’t walk straight. Make your ass raw.” 

“Tough talk for a kitten.” The words spill from his lips with a slight tone that makes Harry want to whimper. 

“Fuck me then, show me what you got, kitten.” 

Harry’s on him and against him before he even realises his own actions. His fingers wet with spit pushing inside of Louis, he starts to work them as he bends Louis over the back of the sofa. His palm runs smoothly over the knots of Louis’ spine. His sweat damp skin beneath his palm. “I said fuck me. Not finger me. Don’t play around.” Louis spits out over his shoulder and Harry looks around.

Louis had been using his tongue on him before he started to fuck him. He shrugs, spits on his hand, stroking himself a few times before he lines up and pushes in slowly. Louis curses and Harry can see him digging his fingers into the back of the sofa. He waits a moment before he slowly begins to move. 

“Literally what is this shit you’re doing?” Louis grits out.

“No lube, Louis.” Harry puts his hands on Louis’ hip and pulls back some. 

“Fucking hell you said you could do better, fucking do better.” Louis glances over his shoulder at Harry, his eyes narrowed on him.

Harry simply shrugs and pushes into Louis, pulling back some and repeats the action with a tight grip on his hips. Louis moans a slew of curse words under his breath with each thrust in. He’s moving hard and fast and he feels the twist low in his abdomen that he’s close. He leans down and presses a quick kiss to the back of Louis’ neck.

“Fucking close.” He moans out on another hard thrust in. 

Everytime Harry pulls out, he pulls Louis into him as he pushes back in. Every thrust in tugs a low moan from Louis, tugs a soft pull at Harry’s heart. 

“Hurry the fuck up, I gotta make dinner.” Louis moans out and Harry snorts as he leans down, kissing the back of his neck. 

Harry pulls out and drops to his knees, his mouth on Louis’ ass before Louis can question it and his fingers deep inside of him. He hears a muffled ‘holy shit’ from Louis as he works him over. Harry wraps his hand around Louis’ cock and tugs hard and tight. It’s dry and he knows it couldn’t completely feel good. Louis thrusts into his hand a few times as Harry pushes his fingers into him. 

“Stop” Louis’ trying to pull Harry’s hand off his cock and Harry sits back on his knees, looking up at him as his tail curls into his lap.

Harry wraps his fingers around his own cock and slowly strokes, the edge of coming has sunk back some. 

Louis stands with a leg on either side of Harry and strokes himself while he looks down at him, draws his bottom lip into his mouth and Harry opens his mouth, sticking his tongue out. Louis mumbles a quiet ‘fuck’ as he starts to come on Harry’s face. 

Harry closes his eyes as he feels the warmth fall against his skin and starts working his own cock hard and fast. He moves his tail and pulls his cock up to his stomach and strokes a few more times, feeling himself come in his hand and against his own stomach, a gasp falls from his lips as he feels a hand pull tightly on his hair, tilting his head back. He can feel Louis dragging his tongue along his cheek and beneath his eye, cleaning himself off of Harry. Harry moans softly as he opens his eyes and reaches up, pulling Louis into an awkward position to kiss him. 

__________

Harry wakes on the sofa, a beige throw tossed over him. He runs his hands over his face as he moves to sit up, the room is dark except for a small lamp in the corner by the telly. He looks around the living area and finds no one in sight so gets up and wraps the throw around him and walks over to the backdoor. His clothes are missing. Harry closes the sliding door and walks around the sofa looking down the hallway. He remembers the layout and before he moves towards the three steps that take him down to the hallway he hears a cough come from his left. 

Harry turns and heads toward a door that’s half open with some light spilling in at the bottom, and pushes the door open more with his free hand, the other holding the throw around him. He finds Louis, still in the nude as he leans against the island and eats cereal from a mug. Harry shakes his head and hides the fond smile that tries to sneak onto his face. 

“So, where are my clothes?” He asks and it startled Louis. 

Louis coughs a few times and narrows his eyes as he points his spoon towards Harry, “Aye give a fellow some warning will ya? Nearly killed me.”

“I’m sure. So? My clothes?” 

“I tossed them in the wash and hadn’t started it. I still got -- “ Louis stops talking and sets his bowl down. He looked towards Harry and shakes his head. “I still have some of your shit.” He nods towards the door and Harry turns and leaves, waiting on Louis to come out of the kitchen. 

Once Louis walks out he continues towards the few steps down into the hallway, Harry bunching up the throw at the bottom so he doesn’t trip as he follows closely behind. Louis walks all the way to the end of the hall and turns into the master bedroom. Harry stops at the doorway, watching as Louis goes over to the closet and pulls a box out. Harry tries to avoid letting his eyes wander over the bedroom. The space that once was supposed to be theirs but now, it’s just Louis’. Louis’ bedroom that Harry is standing naked in a doorway of. Another not so gentle pluck at his heart strings as Louis says his name. 

He looks over at him, watching as he holds out some joggers and a jumper. Harry has long since forgotten about the few items of his that had already been put on a moving truck. When everything happened, he didn’t think about his few boxes until it was too late, until he really couldn’t even care anymore. He only lost two things of sentimental value, and he didn’t feel he had a right to those two items anymore anyway as they had been gifts from Louis in the first place. Harry hesitates for a moment before he steps past the doorway and toward Louis. He takes the clothes from him and drops the throw, putting the joggers and jumper on. He looks over at the box in the closet before he looks at Louis. Louis is watching him and Harry can almost see the wheels turning in his head, he’s trying to read Harry. Harry knows by the slight frown that he can’t. 

“If you want, you can come get this stuff sometime, if you want it. When I got here I just shoved it in the back and it tends to be forgotten.” Louis finally speaks and Harry nods a bit. 

“Yeah, that’ll be alright.” Harry doesn’t really care anymore but he knows he has some of Louis’ things that he’d packed in one of his suit cases that he has with him. “I still have that bag with your stuff too. We can exchange it.” 

Louis doesn’t do more than nod and Harry glances at the clock on the bedside table. 

“I'm going to go.” He turns and walks out of the bedroom and back into the living area where he finds his sneakers and phone. He’s to the door by the time Louis comes in and calls his name out. 

“Whenever you want your shit, just come over.” 

Harry nods and opens the front door but before he steps out he looks back at Louis, “Do me a favour. Zayn, you know him. Tell him I am not the reason you decided to retire. Because I really disliked having my ass bitched at for something I know nothing about.” 

He watches Louis’ eye brows knitted for a moment before he shrugs, “Yeah, I'll give him a ring.” 

Harry tosses a thanks out before he turns and leaves, closing the door behind him. His shoulders drop and his body relaxes slightly. He hadn’t realised how nervous he was until the door was between him and Louis. 

By the time Harry gets back home he’s not surprised to find he is locked out. He didn’t grab his keys earlier when he left and now he has to get ahold of Zayn. It took him calling five times before he answered. “Doors locked. Got no keys.” Harry mumbles as he yawns into the phone.

“Give me a moment.” was all he’d said as he hung up. 

A few moments later the door opens and Zayn turns and heads back down the hall. Harry enters their flat and kicks his shoes off by the door, closing and locking the door. He goes straight to his bedroom and when he turns to close the door, Zayn is standing there. 

“You left in different clothes.” 

Harry nods, “Yes good job, Zayn. Night.” Harry closes the door on him. He isn’t in the mood to talk to him. He’s still mad he even accused Harry of being the reason Louis was retiring. 

**L.**

Louis is one hundred percent shit faced. Without a doubt, on his ass. Literally. He is sitting in his hallway with his eyes narrowed, a finger pointing angrily at the four steps into the living area. He moves onto all fours and crawls over to them, climbing up the steps one by one and his stomach made a swooping sensation that he very much did not like. He swallows back saliva and shakes his head, telling himself not to do that again as he crawls to the sofa. His phone is laying in the middle of the sofa and he narrows his eyes at it as he lays down on his back. He tries calling Niall, holding the phone to his ear. He frowns when a non irish voice picked up.

“You’re not irish.” Louis slurs out into the phone. The person on the other end responds but Louis gets distracted by the ceiling. 

It’s dusty looking he thinks, he should dust it. He moves to sit up and the world spins around him. He groans and lays back down. He hears a tiny irish voice calling his name and Louis looks around frantically. 

“Hello?” His eyes wide as he holds his phone in his left hand and sits up. The room is spinning and he holds onto the sofa back as he looks for the owner of the tiny voice.

Louis decides to try and whisper, “Hello?” The ‘o’ is drawn out at the end as he ducks his head down. 

He hears a long beep sound and looks towards his phone and frowns at it. He pulls it to his ear and Niall’s voice is loud as he yells Louis’ name. 

“Niall, you won’t believe it. I think there's a leprechaun in me flat.” It’s heavily slurred and Niall grumbles on the other end. 

“Lou, are you drunk? It’s only going on ten.” 

“No.” It’s such a lie. And Louis knows that Niall is aware of it also. 

Niall bless his heart, sighs quietly into the phone and tells Louis he is on his way over. Louis loves him. He tells Niall to not step on his leprechaun when he gets here and drops the phone to the floor. 

Niall shows up an hour later, Louis laying on his stomach on the sofa, one arm hanging off as he runs his fingers over the black shag rug under the coffee table. He’s on the thin line between conscious and very much not conscious. Niall is kneeling in front of Louis; his eyes narrowed. He flicks Louis’ nose hard and Louis groans, not moving. 

“How much did you have?” Niall asks, poking Louis in the shoulder as he speaks.

Louis responds with a mess of incoherent words. Though mentally he thought he did well in answering Niall. 

“Alright, first off you’re going to eat something, here. I also got you some water. I want both of these in you. Much rather you have something to throw up over nothing at all.” 

He tries to move Louis to sit up but Louis fights him as he tries to grab on to the shag rug, eventually giving up and sitting up with a long pathetic groan. Louis is handed a glazed donut and stares at it before putting his finger in the middle of it. He looks over at Niall who’s handing him a water bottle also. The water isn’t clear, it’s coloured and he’s confused. He holds it in front of Niall who just shakes his head at Louis and tells him to drink it. He narrows his eyes and does so anyway. It tastes like raspberry and Louis is both pleased and nauseated by it. 

Louis takes a few bites of the donut and tosses it on his coffee table only to be ‘tskd’ by Niall. He looks over at him and glares. 

“It’s too fucking sweet.” It’s a slur of words but Niall seems to get what he was saying because he got up and left, leaving Louis to sip at his water. 

He hears a heavily accented voice spit out a few choice words of annoyance and sits up, “Niall! Watch out for my leprechaun!” 

He hears another few words and then a cabinet slam. Louis continues to drink down his raspberry flavoured water and closes his eyes, tilting his head back on the sofa. Niall returns eventually with a bowl of corn flakes and Louis stares at them. “I put a flavour packet in so you’d drink it. It’s water though.” 

“I only have those for when--” Niall’s hand is on his mouth but he keeps speaking. 

Niall shakes his head, “No. Okay? Just eat the bastard flakes and shut up. Lou, it’s not even noon and you’re so fucking pissed.” 

Louis proceeds without anymore comments to eat cereal and drink his blue water, passing out on his side not long after. Niall grabs some spare pillows out of a guest room and stuffs them behind Louis so he has to stay on his side. He grabs the small trash bin from the guest room and takes it into the living area also. 

When Louis wakes later that day the sun is close to setting. He pushes up on the sofa and moves back onto his knees, looks around the room and takes a deep breath, immediately regretting it as he reaches for the trash bin by the sofa. Niall comes walking in and immediately recoils, leaving as soon as he enters. When he comes back he has water and a wet facecloth and hands them both to Louis as he sits back and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Louis sits back on the sofa and takes a sip of the water before running the wet cloth over his face and sighs. He looks at Niall with a weak smile and huffs out a breath of air. 

Niall frowns and tugs his shirt up over his nose, “Please do not breathe right now.” He gets up and grabs the bin and disappears as Louis closes his eyes. 

He has regrets, major fucking regrets. Tattoo it on his forehead, please. He takes another sip of water and slowly gets to his feet and makes his way in a haze of dizziness and with the room spinning until his legs hit his bed and he falls face first. Water and the face cloth in hand. Niall carries the bin down the hall and sat it by Louis’ bed, patting him on the back. “I’ll hang out here tonight. But we have to talk about this. You never do this and I don’t like it.” Louis mumbles something and gets up, grabbing the bin in a rush. Niall shakes his head and turns to leave, spotting a bottle laying in the doorway just outside the room. He picks it up and rolls his eyes at the sound of Louis throwing up. He mentally makes a note to be as loud as possible the next time Louis wakes. 

Before Niall goes to sleep he checks on Louis once more, cleans the bin out and puts it back by Louis. He goes into Louis’ office and looks up realistic leprechauns, printing one out on cardstock. After he takes his time cutting it out and making a little stand in the back, he places it in Louis’ doorway and heads across the hall to sleep in the guest room. 

**N**.

Niall is sitting on the sofa with the telly on low as he watches the news on one of the sports channels. It’s a continuous stream of Louis, Louis, and some more Louis. Random stuff about politics thrown in between all the news about Louis retiring. It had shocked many and Niall had even called a mutual friend of theirs who was on Louis’ management team. They had no idea he had even been thinking of retiring. So when he announced it, via calling someone at BBC Sport and telling them himself he was retiring, before actually calling his manager was, to say the least, shocking. 

Niall has known Louis since the week he joined the team. Zayn, at the time, was part of the PR team and immediately introduced Louis to him and Liam. Niall immediately grew very fond of Louis. They grew close quickly and became friends immediately. It was great and Niall cared very deeply for him. He thought they had an open friendship, not having to worry about hiding things, or well anything major. Niall wasn’t an idiot, he knew people were never fully open. There are some things he wouldn’t share with the boys, he wasn’t stupid enough to think it wasn’t the same for them too. But to have Louis retire, without ever being aware that this was something he wanted, or had thought about? It was completely out of the blue. 

When Niall went over to Zayn and Harry’s, he’d told Zayn what happened. Zayn took it out on Harry and took to blaming him right away. Niall wasn’t close to Harry but he didn't dislike the lad, he just didn’t know him. Harry had quickly taken to keeping to himself, only interacting when Zayn forced him out of his room. His job was photography and it was all freelance so he could easily disappear for hours in one of the guest rooms they’d sat up so Harry could work on the photos. Sometimes he would come out for a drink and an occasional smoke if Zayn offered, only to go back in long into the night. He kept to himself and stayed quiet, never in a rude way just a way that Niall assumed early on was just simply who he was. Zayn said he was the complete opposite around him, loud and often times goofy, very outgoing. Niall never took it to heart. 

So when he found out that Louis and Harry had a history, a long one at that, and it had ended poorly, he was surprised. He figured that at some point Louis and Harry’s paths would have crossed at some point in the past.. Only they never did, they were conveniently separated on all fronts. When Harry did go out with all of them, Louis wasn’t there. When it was Louis it was Harry who wasn’t. The only time that Harry and Louis may have been in the same place together at the same time with all the guys was a party at Liam’s work last fall. And even during that time, they still slip by each other like two ships in the night. 

He didn’t think Harry had anything to do with Louis’ sudden decision to retire. He also didn’t think it was that much of a sudden choice. He knew him enough to know that this was something Louis had been sitting on for sometime now. The fact that he never told Niall isn’t going unnoticed. He frequently went to the guys when things were stirring in his career, when he needed to talk or vent, find advice. And yet this shocked everyone, even Louis’ own family. Daisy had immediately sent a message to Niall on Twitter asking if he knew about this. 

A startled yell and a loud thump interrupt Niall’s thoughts as he realises Louis is up. He hears a mumbled, ‘fucking leprechaun , kick his fucking ass’ before a door slams shut. Niall turns his focus back to the telly. There’s going to be a press conference soon and Niall wonders if Louis is meant to be there. He pushes off the sofa and heads into the kitchen, pulling out a plate of food he’d made earlier for Louis and starts to reheat the plate, making a cup of tea and hoping for the best. He can hear the shower running faintly down the hall and leans on the counter of the island. He loves Louis like a brother, he loves him as his best friend, but he is worried about him. He wants to both hug him and kick his ass. 

**__________**

Niall is sitting in Zayn and Harry’s living area. After he got Louis fed and spent some time with him he felt comfortable leaving him to sleep the rest of the day away. He wants to talk about the events that may have lead up to him getting shit faced early in the day, but he feels there is time for that later. The more he thinks about things that have happened in the last few days, the more he decides it would be best to talk to Zayn about accusing Harry first. He’s closest to Harry. He may have known Louis longer but Zayn and Harry’s relationship is different. So to Niall, Zayn acting how he did and accusing Harry wasn’t like him. Zayn was standing by the back door smoking and Niall heard music coming from Harry’s bedroom. 

“So I had to take care of a drunk Louis.” Niall speaks up. 

Zayn glances over his shoulder at Niall, smoke flowing from his half closed lips as he nodded some, “How bad was he?”

“Pretty fucked, think he tried ringing me ‘round ten? I forget exactly but he was so fucked. I stayed over at his last night. Left him this morning.”

“Did you fucking ask why he just threw his career away?” Zayn responds as he puts his cigarette out and closes the backdoor. Harry walks out of his room and out of the house. He doesn’t look at Zayn or even say anything. 

Normally he'd say something, let Zayn know that he may not come home that night, or where he’s going. But he doesn’t even stop to look at him and Zayn doesn’t even bat an eye. That much Niall knew.

“Why did you accuse him of being the reason Louis retired?” Niall clears his throat. Alright, he guesses he’s just going to get right to the point. 

Zayn raises an eyebrow at Niall, “What?” 

“The other day, when it was announced he’d retired. You asked Harry what he did. You assumed Harry was why Louis retired."

“Isn’t it?” Zayn asks as he heads into the kitchen. 

Niall turns around, looking through the bar area to watch Zayn. “No, don’t think it is.” 

"And you know this how? How convenient that Louis dropped that bomb in the dumbest way possible after Harry had dinner with him." 

Nial snorts, "Could it be that it's just a big coincidence?"

"If you fucking want to think that, have at it." Zayn grabs a soda from the fridge and looks at Niall. 

Niall holds a hand up as Zayn comes back into the living area. Zayn leans against the bar between two mix matched stools, "So you're content blaming your best mate for someone else's actions?"

Zayn pops the top if his soda and takes a long sip, pointing it at Niall after as he speaks, "He fucking kept a massive secret from me. Looking back he lied about so much to me, told me he'd never been in a relationship. And then proceeded to have dinner with Louis. The next day Louis fucked off with his career. How do you not see it? Literally, Niall, its fuckin' right there, mate"

Niall stands up as he laughs, "I see nothin'. Not followin' you on this one."

"Harry fucking convinced Louis to throw his life away, likely going to manipulate him for payback for following his dream. How are you blind?"

Of all times for Harry to come back, Niall shakes his head as he watches Harry's face go blank.

"Wow. And to think I fucking ever gave two fucks about you. Don't worry, Zayn. That's the last time I do that." Harry storms past the two of them, slamming his bedroom door closed behind him. 

Niall smiles at Zayn as he huffs out a laugh, "Nice. Hey so, fuck you, okay? You enjoy your jealousy because that is what this is." Niall turns and leaves the flat without even thinking of looking back. 

He has so many things he wants to say to Zayn but didn't feel like bothering. Didn't want to be near him any longer. 

**H.**

Harry has packed up as much of his shit as he could and debates who to call for an hour while he drives around town before he sees Liam walking out of a Starbucks. He has Liam’s number but rarely speaks to him. He always treats Harry decently enough and always tries to make sure he is involved when they all hang out. His finger hovers over his name before he eventually hits call. He could see Liam from where he’s parked, watching as he pats himself down before he gets his phone out of his jacket pocket. Liam offers his spare room before Harry could even fully get anything out. Tells him he could use the company when Harry feels bad and tries to decline. 

Harry is sitting in the small guest room now, looking around at everything. It’s plain but not boring. It has simple, light gray walls and dark bedding. A chair in the corner and telly hanging on the wall at the foot of the bed. Against a window is a long dresser with fake flowers sat to the left. The door is open and he can hear Liam moving around the small flat. His whole place is cosy, small and plain. But not boring. It feels very Liam. He carries the same colour throughout the flat. An accent wall in the living area. The wall with the fireplace is a deep green and the fire place is white with a massive mirror above the mantel. Harry noticed that the bathroom is a soft blue and Liam’s bed is on an accent wall that was a deep purple. His large four post bed is black with a white rug under it. It’s different from his and Zayn’s place. Zayn’s walls have so much paint on them he isn’t sure what the original colour may have been. His bed is a king mattress on the floor under the window and a wall of pillows and piles of blankets. 

Harry remembers when he and Zayn first met how close they got. How often he ended up sharing Zayn’s bed with him. He was homesick. The heavy feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. He found security in Zayn’s room, in Zayn’s arms. It never went too far. The one time they tried they both ended up laughing. It didn’t feel right. But the late night cuddles didn’t stop. It was understood neither wanted it to go further than that. Zayn helped Harry find comfort in his new home. Helped him set up a spare room to develop film and helped him find a part time job. Zayn helped him when he needed it the most. He wouldn’t ask his sister or his Mum for help, he didn’t want to ask anyone for help or let anyone know that he had nothing to his name. 

He’d lied to Zayn about so much in the beginning. He just wanted a roof over his head and the chance at food after sleeping on benches and in dark doorways. Or trying to stay in libraries as long as possible. He’d spotted an ad for a flat mate and used a strangers phone to call Zayn. The same phone he ended up walking out with as soon as he realised it had no passcode on it. He later attempted to return it to its owner. The man had a few choice words for Harry but ultimately forgave him. Harry had been up front that he couldn’t give the rent that month, said he was that new and just needed a place to start out at. It wasn’t a lie, he needed an address on job applications and not having one was one of the reasons it held him back. Zayn had said he would give him two months. 

It took Harry five months to find a job, each time Harry kept tally of how much he owed. He handed Zayn everything in cash a year later and Zayn had refused it. He wasn’t going to take it from Harry. Zayn had done so much for Harry. And now he has so little to say about him, obviously thinks so little about him. And it hurts. Harry snorts in slight amusement. He figures it’s just karma giving him a kiss. 

Harry looks up as Liam taps his knuckles on the half open door, greeting Harry with a sad smile. He looks at Harry like he’s a lost child. 

“Would you like to come watch a movie? I can make us something to eat. You don’t have to, if you want to just stay in here that’s fine.” Liam asks as he grabs the door knob, as if ready to close it if Harry refused.

Harry nods, “Yeah, I’d like that. Thanks.” Liam smiles and lets go of the door, pushing it open some more before he turns and walks away. 

**Z.**

Zayn is staring at the empty bedroom. Harry’s room is a disaster. Clothes tossed all over, closet door left open and a few of his dresser drawers also open. He walks in and starts to pick the clothing up off the floor. Items he’d just taken out of the drawer and dropped on his way to packing in a rush. Between the time his door slammed shut and Niall left, Harry had made a choice that didn’t involve Zayn. Often Harry went to Zayn when something came up, when he needed to vent or rant. Sometimes just sit even in the same room with someone. It was something that Zayn adjusted pretty quick to. Harry coming into his room to just sit and not talk, just be in the company of another human. 

Zayn took comfort in it also. He never felt like he had to try and entertain Harry or keep him busy. He just continued doing whatever he was doing. He just continued existing with Harry around him. They became close fast and took a huge liking to him. He saw something in Harry that he knew Harry tried to hide. He knew when he first met him he’d been homeless. He knew he had no job and that by letting him live with him that Harry would likely not be paying his way for a while. He also knew he could have robbed him blind. Something told Zayn to trust him and so he did. He took him in, he sheltered him, fed him, clothed him when he realised Harry had little with him. 

He never knew why Harry initially ended up moving, leaving a life behind. He just learned over time he had. Harry would shrug and just say, “_sometimes you gotta get away_.” Zayn realised quick he would learn so much about Harry and so little at all. And now he was wondering how much he even knew about him. Of all the things he didn’t share, of all the things he_ did_ share. Why leave out a heavy relationship? He could have told Zayn some things about it and left out that it was Louis. However, Zayn logically knew that Harry never owed Zayn that. He didn’t have to tell him anything. He didn’t have to ever confide in him, let alone tell him he’d had a bad ending to a relationship. He just doesn’t get why Harry had stated he’d never been in a relationship before. 

The topic had come up when they’d gotten a few drinks in them, gotten a little closer than normal, a little more familiar with each other in a way they hadn’t. It wasn’t a lot, but it was something. Something small and yet so much all at once. Zayn had pulled back, curious then about Harry’s history. Harry had simply shrugged, he’d been with guys before. But never in a relationship. It had been stated with a slight slur and a small shrug before his hands began to wander once more. It was also something that ended before much of it got started. They both fell into fits of giggles when they realised the two of them were not even turned on. It was a mutual thing, they didn’t feel that way for each other. It was easy to move on from. The cuddles didn’t stop, they didn't change with each other. In fact they felt closer. Or at least that was how Zayn thought. He felt like Harry had grown more comfortable around him, more open. 

Zayn is staring up at his ceiling, the ceiling fan turning slowly, the glow in the dark painted blades lightly illuminating the ceiling around it as it spins. His music plays low in the background and he hates himself. Niall’s words weigh heavily on his mind. The part about being jealous replays in his head. What does he have to be jealous of? Why would he be jealous at all? He stares at the cherry of his cigarette in the dark, blindly reaching over to thump the ash into an old mug of tea on his floor. 

He’s mad, he knew he would be mad and he won’t deny it. But he isn’t sure there’s a spec of jealousy in him. He feels bad for Harry, his heart aches for him. He could see it in his face as he talked about Louis that he cared for him still. That what he had felt was still lingering somewhere in him, somewhere under the surface. Zayn drops his half smoked cigarette into the tea mug, a slight sizzle noise as the liquid puts the heat out. Headlights from a passing car cast a beam of light along his bedroom wall, lighting up the dark room. Lighting up a few of the glow in the dark paint spots on the wall across from the window. Words that Harry once scribbled in glow in the dark paint illuminate softly, it’s barely visible but he can see the sloppy cursive paint. 

He’s mad at Louis. He’s mad at him for not telling him anything, for not even hinting that something may have been going on that would cause him to want to retire. He’s mad because he feels left out. Louis and Zayn have a different relationship. They fight easily, but they love each other easily. They clicked in a way that they didn’t with others. Much how Zayn and Harry had clicked. 

Two of his best mate’s lives circle each other and yet never have they collided. The moment they did finally collide, it was as if something had shifted, something changed in the atmosphere. It’s like the world got flipped on its axis and caused a seismic ripple. 

When Harry had come home that night, Zayn waited up for him. As soon as the front door opened he flipped the telly off and put all his attention on Harry. Harry had shut him out for the first time in ages. Went to his room without even a glance and closed his door. His music filtered out from the crack by the floor and the lights went off. It had been the first time he’d done that. There had been times that Harry had gone out, come home upset or angry. Even happy, and woken Zayn just to tell him. Just to confide in him, share with him. But this time he acted as if Zayn wasn’t even there. 

The morning after Harry and Louis had dinner together, Niall had woken Zayn by calling him until he answered and proceeded to yell at Zayn to let him in. As soon as Zayn opened the front door Niall shoved his phone in Zayn’s face. The headline large in heavy black font. _Louis has retired_. It proceeded to tell how he did it, how abrupt it had been, even how unprofessional he’d done it. All Zayn could do was zero in on Harry. Blame him for it because it was the only thing that made sense, Harry had somehow gotten Louis to retire. There was no other way for him to see it. Or at least no other way for him to want to see it. A way that meant he felt hurt because Louis had held on to such a heavy thing and not told anyone. Not even his family as it soon became apparent. 

It was so much easier for Zayn to put the blame off on someone else instead of admit that Louis had hid this from him. 

**H.**

Harry is content where he is on Liam’s sofa. It’s a deep grey L- shaped sectional and Harry quickly takes the end and grabs the throw that was tossed over the back. When Liam comes in he smiles at Harry and takes the recliner, opening the arm of it to get a remote out. Harry is sort of entertained by a recliner with a hidden compartment. Liam catches him looking at the recliner and beams. 

“It has charging for your phone too.” He proudly exclaims before he rattles off movies. 

Harry isn’t picky, he’s still interested in that recliner. He tells Liam he could pick, he was open to anything so Liam finds a comedy, suggesting it may put Harry in a little bit of a better mood. At least a little would be good, no? Harry smiles and nods a little as Liam goes back into the kitchen. He is completely out of sight but tosses a question or two at Harry from the other side of the wall. He keeps a decent conversation going as he cooks up some food for them. Eventually he returns with two plates and hands one to Harry before setting his on the coffee table in front of them and disappearing once more. 

Liam returns with a few beers and some bottled water. He sets them on the table and sits down. “You can get something else if you wish. I’ve got tea and some cokes in there.” 

Harry grabs the beer that was already opened and smiles. “This is fine, I appreciate it, letting me stay here and feeding me. Entertaining me. I mean it, because you don’t have to do any of this...” 

Liam smiles, “I know you do. It’s okay, Harry. And yes, I do. You need someone right now. You need a place to stay and a friend, and I just want to help you in any way. Even if it’s just some food.” 

Harry frowns slightly, “You know I think of you as a friend right?” 

Liam is chewing his food and nods a little. He didn’t look at Harry and he really doesn’t like that. “Liam, I mean it. I really do think of you as a friend. I always have. You always try and make sure I’m involved when we all hang out. You listen when I tell jokes and you even go to the gym with me or for runs. I really do think of you as a friend.” 

Liam’s eyes slowly fall on Harry as he holds his plate in his hands. He sits quietly for a moment before he smiles. “You’re a good friend to have. But so you know, even if you and I were not friends. I’d still welcome you here anytime. My place is a judgement, question free zone.” 

“Thank you, and thank you for the food. But please don’t feel you have to wait on me.” He grabs his plate and starts to eat. 

“Sometimes we all need to get away, Harry, and I get it.”

Nothing more is said, Harry doesn’t feel the need to respond. He doesn’t feel like he has to or that he owes it to Liam to explain why he’d needed a place to stay. And it doesn’t feel like Liam expects any of that from him. It feels comfortable and easy and so he relaxes and lets himself enjoy the food, enjoy the movie and the company he has right now. Everything else will be there later. He can ignore it all for a few hours. 

Except someone else has another idea. Halfway into the movie and Harry’s second beer and a diet coke sitting beside it, a loud rhythmic knock breaks the silence between the dialogue on the film. Liam gets up as he keeps his eyes on the telly and walks over to the door. He’d shut all the lights off except for a light in the kitchen that gives a soft glow towards the front door. Harry puts his attention back on the movie, laughing when something happens as he hears Liam talking and a raspy voice greets him cheerfully and loudly. Dread immediately courses through Harry as he realises who the voice belongs to. He reaches under the throw and wraps his hands around his tail, combing the curled fur with his fingers. He tries to sink into the corner of the sofa, hiding in the dark. 

**L.**

Louis smiles widely at Liam who claps him on the back and lets him in. He may be a little bit tipsy, or a lot, but no one's asking. “Watching a movie but I don’t think he minds if you join us.” Liam smiles brightly and heads back toward his recliner. 

Louis has a slight confused look to his face as he looks over at the sofa, in the corner of which Harry sits, throw tugged up to his face. The blue hue from the telly illuminates his face. It’s enough light that Louis is able to see that Harry is trying to be invisible. And Louis realises that, oh Liam has no idea does he? He frowns and looks at Liam who is laughing at the movie. Louis has two options. He can be a big boy and just head home, or he can sit down. The better of the two would be to go home but Louis is a little drunk and he listens to the devil on his shoulder. He walks over to the sofa and flops down in the middle, an arms length from Harry. 

He looks at the telly before glancing at Liam who is focused on the film. He leans over slightly towards Harry, “Relax. We’re both adults now,” he whispers as he sits upright, eyeing Harry a little. 

Harry doesn’t relax, not one bit and Louis doesn’t like that. He wants him to relax, he doesn’t want him to be so tense and he can feel it from where he sits. He can tell his presence is unwelcomed by Harry, another thing he dislikes. Louis knows he can easily fix it. And yet, he reaches out and rub one of Harry's furry ears between his fingers. Something he used to do when Harry was tense, something he shouldn’t do now. He glances over, watching as Harry drops the blanket from near his face and slightly pulls his head away. Louis smiles at him and drops his hand. 

Louis turns toward the telly, the movie playing on and Louis doesn't recognise it. He tries to focus on it instead of being hyper aware of Harry sitting beside him. He would chance a glance in Harry's direction, taking note of little things. Mostly how over the next forty five or so minutes he'd relaxed and stopped combing his tail nervously. Louis begins to yawn as the credits appear. Liam flips off the telly and stands up. 

Louis watches him as he picks everything up, clearing the room of empty cans and bottles. The throw is on Harry's legs, his tail beside him, taking up the space between Louis and Harry. Harry is picking at his nails so Louis slowly slides his hand over the sofa cushion and as subtly as he can, runs his fingers just over the thickness of Harry's tail. The tip of the tail flicks as Harry pulls his hand up closer to his face with narrowed eyes. 

Louis swallows and lightly runs his fingers through the long curled fur. He drags his hand upward, pressing as he moves before dragging them back down. His blunt nails scratching the soft skin beneath all the fur. When his hand reaches the end he takes it in his hand and strokes it lightly. Louis thinks he can hear Harry swallow. 

"Alright well, I need to head to bed. Harry, the bathroom has spare towels and the like beneath the sink. Help yourself. Louis--" as soon as Liam's voice breaks the silence Louis moves his hand away, turning to look over the sofa at Liam. He is wiping his hands off on a tea towel.

"Can I crash here? I was at The Compass and Lauren was actually at the bar."

"Really?" Liam interrupted, "I thought once she took ownership of The Compass she just managed the books and worked for our PR team. She told me she didn't have time to tend bar."

"She was trying to make a new shot. She called it the Big Bang. It's vodka, blue curacao, and lime juice. Bright blue too. She had me sample a few.” As Louis looks away from Liam his eyes drag across Harry. 

“You would have to take the sofa if you crash here. Harry has the guest room.” Louis has forgotten he asked if he could stay the night. He glances at Harry who is twirling the fur of his tail around his finger, his head tilted back and eyes closed. 

“Tis fine.” Louis responds and looks over his shoulder at Liam. 

Liam nods, “You know where the spare pillows and blankets are.” He pats Harry on the shoulder as he heads out, tossing a goodnight as he leaves the living area. 

Louis looks over at Harry. He hasn’t moved and Louis slides his hand across the sofa, his fingers pushing against the edge of Harry’s tail. Louis slides closer as subtly as he could, but Harry’s raised eyebrow gives him away. He slides his hand along Harry’s tail, slowly pulling it from Harry’s loose grasp. Once Louis has the end of Harry’s tail in his hand he twists his hand so the tail would wrap around his wrist, and squeezes a little. Louis leans in, and sets his chin on Harry’s shoulder as he lets go of his tail. Part of it remains spiraled on his wrist and arm, Louis mentally smiles that Harry didn’t pull his tail back. Louis closes his eyes as he slowly slides his hand between Harry’s legs, feeling them part slightly. He runs his fingers up the seam. He opens his eyes as his hand inches closer between his legs. Harry’s eyes are open, bottom lip tucked between his teeth. 

“Yes or no?” Louis whispers as he stopped his hand. 

Harry glances at the hallway, “He’s in there for the night as long as you don’t make a sound.” 

Harry’s breathing has picked up, his chest rising and falling a little faster. Louis glances down as Harry nods, licking his lips and gives a quiet, ‘yes’. He grabs the throw and pulls it over Harry’s lap, putting his hand under the throw and cups Harry through his pants. He takes a sharp breath as Louis squeezes and pulls his tail from Louis’ wrist. Louis works Harry through his jeans, the fabric rough against his skin as he feels him grow harder in his hand. Louis moves closer, kissing along Harry’s neck as he undoes his jeans and slides his hand inside. He wraps his fingers around him, it’s a tight fit as keeps his face in the crook of Harry’s neck. He squeezes his fingers around Harry’s now hard cock and kisses along Harry’s jaw. Harry moans, causing Louis to shush him as he tugs him from his jeans. 

Louis bringst his hand up to Harry’s face and holds his palm towards him, “Lick.” 

He smirks as he watches Harry drag his tongue along his palm a few times before he wraps it around Harry’s cock and slowly begins to stroke him. He lays his head on Harry’s shoulder, watching his hand move beneath the throw, listening as soft moans slip from Harry’s lips. Louis smiles, pleased with himself as he twists his hand. Harry’s hand fists the throw in his lap. One thing Louis knows about Harry is how easy and quickly he can come at the idea of being caught in the act. Louis knows that this won’t last long as he speeds his pace up, using the pre-come to help the slide of his hand. Louis can tell by the little whimpers falling from Harry’s lips as he slouches down slightly and takes in a sharp breath that he could come with a few more tight pumps from Louis. 

Louis drags his tongue along the shell of Harry’s ear, “You're so perfect baby,” he whispers as he slowly pulls his hand away. 

Harry’s eyes shot open. He bites his bottom lip, his ears flat against his head, slightly hidden in his hair. 

Louis smiles at Harry, “Sorry though, ‘M a bit tired.” Louis gets up and heads down the hall to get a pillow and blanket. And to adjust his own hard cock in his pants. He can hear Harry cursing as he walks up to him. 

“What the fuck was that?” Harry hisses in a whisper.

“I got bored.”

Harry’s eyebrows shoot up, “You what?” 

Louis glances down, Harry’s jeans still undone and he is still very hard. The bulge obvious in the jeans. 

Louis sighs and shrugs, “I was afraid of the change that it would bring.” It is wrong of Louis to use Harry’s own words on him, especially in this type of situation. And yet here he is doing it, throwing his words back at him. 

He watches as Harry recoils, narrowing his eyes. His tail flicks sharply behind him and his left ear twitches. “You’re a fucking asshole.” 

Louis shrugs, “Have a good night, alright?” He pats Harry on the shoulder and goes back into the living area, tossing everything onto the sofa. He isn’t sure what caused him to do that. To say such a thing to Harry. He isn’t so drunk to say something like that, he isn’t drunk enough for this at all. He just knows that he realised they may be making a mistake. He didn’t want to fall into a habit of sex with Harry. He doesn’t want that with him and he knows it would be asking for problems. He doesn’t want to fuck up a messed up relationship any more, especially when part of him wants to see him around more. Wants to have him in his life once again, at least as friends. But as long as they have the history they do and have yet to actually talk about everything, actually sit down and discuss things, this was a slippery slope, And all Louis finds himself wanting to do is get into Harry’s pants. 

**__________**

Louis is sitting outside on the balcony, cigarette between his lips as he leans forward, head tilted down. He’s been awake maybe half an hour and spent most of it outside smoking. Liam still complains he can smell the smoke with the door closed; he even turned on a table fan and faced it at the door. Louis rolled his eyes and kept smoking. The sun is in his eyes and his back hurts. He wants more sleep but Liam’s morning chatter on the phone woke him. Once Louis wakes he’s up. At least when not in the comfort of his own bed. He hears Harry talking to Liam and rolls his eyes. He’s been capable of forgetting he was in the flat also. Until now when he hears him cheerfully greet Liam like the morning person he is. Just like Liam is, they would make good roommates Louis thinks. He glances over his shoulder finding Harry standing in the living room, his tail swaying lightly behind him as he speaks to Liam. Liam’s head tilts as he laughs loudly, reaching out to pat Harry on the shoulder. Louis narrows his eyes and sucks hard on his cigarette. Puffs of smoke spill out like a train. He takes his cigarette and puts it out, grabbing the other butts off the ground and his pack and lighter before he heads back into Liam’s. Harry spots him instantly, head turning and eyes narrowing slightly. His tail drops to the back of his leg and his ears flatten. As if they’re trying to hide from Louis. 

Louis tosses his smokes and lighter down on the coffee table and heads into the kitchen to throw his butts away. Liam comes in and smiles brightly at Louis before grabbing the air freshener and spraying it in his direction. He rolls his eyes as Liam leaves, the sound of the can being sprayed following him. Louis walks out of the kitchen and sits on the sofa as Harry comes back in, his phone in his hands as his thumb moves quickly across the screen. 

“Okay so I should be home early today, Harry. But you have a spare key if you need it.” Liam speaks as he comes back in, spraying above Louis’ head once more before going into the kitchen. 

Harry mumbles a reply as he sits down on the sofa, stopping what he’s doing to look at Louis and holding eye contact as he gets up and sits in Liam’s recliner. Louis frowns and sniffs his shirt, he smells like fake flowers and smoke. He shrugs and gets up, pulling his shirt off and throwing it at Harry. It lands on his head and he tilts it slightly, sending the shirt into the recliner beside him.

“Hey, Li. I’m going to borrow a shirt, I need to run some errands.” He doesn’t wait on Liam to respond before he disappears down the hall and into Liam’s bedroom. 

Louis grabs a random shirt and borrows Liam’s deodorant, thankful he uses spray and sprays it all over his body before he heads out of the room, tugging the shirt on. Liam is standing behind the sofa, leaning on it as he looks at Harry. Harry is blinking at him before he shrugs.

“What am I supposed to say?” Harry finally speaks as Louis sits back down. 

“Well, he’s one of your best mates for starters, Harry. Hear him out, yeah?” Liam pushes off the sofa. Louis is trying to pay attention to his phone, pretending to not listen. 

“Well, to be a bit honest, mate. He can go fuck right off now. I don’t really care to hear what he may have to say.” Harry stands up, grabbing Louis’ shirt as he did and heads down the hall.

“Harry, Zayn loves you and so what if you had a bit of a spat? Go talk it out.” 

“_Ha_,_ bit of a spat_. Yeah sure, Liam.” Harry yells from the bedroom. He comes back out with a messenger bag across his body and his wallet. 

“I have to go. I don’t know when I will be back but it shouldn’t be late.” And with that, Harry heads out of the flat, leaving Liam to sigh dramatically and crossed his arms. 

Louis looks up at him with a raised eyebrow, “What was that about?” 

“Eh, he and Zayn had a fight or some shit. It's why he’s staying with me for a few. They’ll sort it out.” Liam smiles and grabs his stuff and glances over at Louis. 

“Do you need a ride anywhere?” 

“Is that a hint, Li?” 

Liam looks offended, “No, you know that.” 

Louis smiles as he shook his head, “Yeah, I know. Nah, was going to charge me phone a bit before I head to get my car. Thanks for letting me crash here.” 

“Anytime, you know this. I’m off, you have a good one.” And just like that Louis is alone in Liam’s flat. 

He sits back on the sofa and scrolls through some unread texts, mostly one of his sisters spamming him. 

Louis glances down the hall, noticing the guest bedroom door is open and eyes the front door. He looks back at the guest room and back at the front door before he gets up and heads into the bedroom. On the bed is an oversized bag, shirts spilling out of it. On top of it is Louis’ shirt he’d thrown at Harry. Louis debates going and getting it, it’s his and he has the right to do it. At the same time he finds it interesting that Harry took it. He decides to leave it, going back into the living room and sends Zayn a text asking if he’s around. 

**__________**

Louis only feels slightly bad that he’s smoking with Zayn right now when he has a question to ask. He’s been able to piece things together between the night he had with Harry, when he’d told Louis to tell Zayn that he had nothing to do with retiring and what he heard Liam and Harry discussing earlier that morning. He’s avoided saying anything but now that he’s been there for a few hours it’s just bothering him that he has yet to say anything. Louis stands up and walks over to the back door, looking out, the sky’s getting dark as clouds form around them and he can see the wind picking up. 

“So, what happened?” Straight to the point apparently. 

He hears Zayn hum, he assumes he shrugged. Louis turns around and finds him cleaning up the table. “You do know he had fuck all to do with my decision right?”

Zayn stops what he’s doing and looks up at Louis, “Did he ask you to tell me this?” 

“Why would he ask me shit? We don’t talk.” 

“Yeah, but isn’t it just a tad fucking coincidental that you two have dinner together and then you just throw your career away?” 

Louis’ mouth is dry and he really shouldn’t be doing this now. “Yeah it is a coincidence. It was a choice I had already made. Harry had nothing to do with that.” 

“So you’re telling me, the same Harry who left you because he was a fucking chicken shit, had nothing to do with you giving up your career within--” Zayn shakes his head some before looking back at Louis, “What, not even twenty four hours? He broke your heart because you wanted this and then he’s back in your life and now you just go and give everything up, for some feline.” 

Louis is trying to follow Zayn’s thoughts but he really can’t understand how he is adding two and two and getting six. “Z, Harry had nothing to do with it. This was something I _wanted_ this whole fucking time, I already said this.”

“So why did none of us know? Why did I not know?” The hurt that passes over Zayn’s face is apparent to Louis only he chooses to ignore it. 

“Why did you fucking treat Harry like shit?” 

“You don’t even know what happened, Louis. Did he go crying to you?” 

Louis squeezes his eyes shut before opening them again. They are so dry and he is not in the mood for this. “Zayn, Harry and I are not anything. We don’t speak or talk.” That may be a tad bit of a lie as they just spoke last night but Louis ignores that as he sighs. “I wanted to quit. I don’t want this anymore.” 

“Because of Harry.” Louis wants to slap him upside his head.

“_No_, because I am tired of doing it. I just want to go to the store without being seen. I want to eat whatever the fuck I want with out worrying if I have to run extra laps or do extra time in the gym. The list goes on and on, and I have put thought into this.”

Zayn leans back on the sofa, his eyes narrowed at Louis. “So you made this life altering choice and never thought, maybe I should tell a friend? Maybe I should talk to someone.” 

“Yeah. I did, because it’s my life. And you know what else? Harry was a part of my life and he is not anymore but you fucking hurt him over something that had nothing to do with him.” 

“How would you even know I did such a thing if you two dont talk?” Zayn sounds smug and it just scratches at Louis more and more. 

“He’s staying with Liam, I was there this morning and Liam was being Liam. All asking shit. Also the fact that he is staying with Liam instead of his own place shows he’s upset.”

“So you two talk, way to keep lying to your supposed best mate here.” 

“You’re a dick, Zayn. I don’t have to talk to Harry to know this has hurt him. I know because I fucking know him. I knew him way longer than any of you. I know that when he’s hurting he fucking runs from whatever that is. Whatever hurt him, he will run from. And he ran from his own flat. He ran from_ you_. Well the walls can’t fucking talk so it narrows it down to one other thing that could fucking hurt him. And that’s_ you_.” As Louis speaks his voice raises and he crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes at Zayn. 

Zayn looks smug and it pisses Louis off more so he speaks more, adding more fuel to the fire between them, “I didn’t tell you because I just simply don’t see why I should.”

“Thought we were mates.” Zayn states it in a way that Louis knows he’s asking him to reaffirm it, say they are. Louis just doesn’t care to right now. Because he’s mad. He’s angry over so much and he doesn’t even have it in him to tell his best friend why. He doesn’t want to admit that he did keep a big thing from people. From his family and his friends, something he should have talked to someone about. Instead he just dropped the bomb on everyone at the same time. And hasn’t spoken of it since. Acting as if it never happened. 

But he also knows blaming Harry is a way for Zayn to throw the blame onto someone, it gives him someone to take his anger out on and to Louis that isn’t okay. Zayn should have gone straight to the source. 

“Yeah, me too, Zayn. Next time you want to take your shit out on Harry, try finding me first. He had nothing, _nothing_ to do with this. Stop blaming him and fix your shit with him.” 

He doesn’t wait for a response, turning and leaving the flat with a slam of the front door. It could have gone worse, he knows. It also could have gone better. Or he could have just ignored it altogether and gone about his day and not butted in. But he knows the truth he said about Harry. That Harry leaving shows something hurt him and Louis didn’t even think last night about why he was at Liam’s. He tries to figure out if that changes how he feels about the way he treated Harry and he finds it doesn’t. He was hurt by Harry, despite the fact that he knows that Harry running off instead of going to Louis meant he was hurting, Louis is still hurt by it also. Because he thought they had moved past that. Harry no longer went for runs for hours on end, calling to be picked up miles away after they fought. He no longer spent the night somewhere else. 

They had hit a point where if they fought, they separated for an hour or so to calm down and came back calmer and in most cases either agreed to disagree or discussed the problem. Louis had known everytime he looked back at the last few weeks with Harry, that he should have been looking harder, maybe he’d have seen that Harry wasn’t happy. That something was bothering him, potentially hurting him. In the end though with Zayn, it’s one thing for Louis to be mad at Harry and another for Zayn, as Zayn had no reason to take anything out on him. 

**H.**

Harry’s washing dishes at the sink when Liam walks in, smiling at him as he sets some groceries down. It’s been about a week since Harry came to Liam looking for a place to stay. A week and he’s not spoken to Zayn. He’s even started to look into a place of his own because he just doesn’t see himself moving back in with Zayn. He saw him two days after he left, when Harry went back to get a few more things. Zayn slammed his bedroom door so hard a photo fell to the ground, cracking the glass that contained it. Harry took that as a big hint from the universe. 

Liam is finished putting everything away when Harry hears a heavy sigh beside him. He turns off the water and looks over at Liam.

“Can I help you?” Harry asks as he wipes his hands on a tea towel.

“So, I was thinking. Maybe you need to go talk to Zayn.”

Harry deflates. He had been expecting this to happen. He just hoped he’d gotten his own place before it happened. “I’m looking for my own place, I will be out of here in a few days. I promise. Just, can I have like two more days? All I’m asking, Liam.” 

Liam’s eyebrows rise and fall before they knit together and he frowns, “What? No, I’m not kicking you out. I’ve enjoyed not coming home to an empty place! I was seriously saying, I think the two of you need to have a bit of a chat. This has gone on long enough. It can’t be that easy to throw away a friendship.”

“He accused me of something that I had no idea about, something that I had nothing to do with and he won’t even apologise for that.” 

“Have you tried asking him about it though?” 

Harry shakes his head. That’s something he never thought about, he didn’t think that maybe he should have actually asked Zayn why he was so quick to blame him. He didn’t think that there may have been some logical explanation. Same time though, Harry can’t be bothered to care if there was. It hurt him that Zayn of all people was so quick to assume and put it off on Harry. As if Harry had such a way with Louis after how they ended. As if Harry even had any form of say in Louis’ life now. The ‘_or ever_’ that trails through his mind doesn’t go ignored, not completely at least. He hasn’t forgotten the fact that he and Louis never fully discussed him moving with Louis. It was sort of always just assumed he would move with Louis when the time came. 

“Just, ask him okay? Zayn doesn’t like to admit when he’s fucked up but I think you two can fix this. You just both have to want it.” Liam’s words penetrate Harry’s thoughts and he looks over at him. 

Harry nods a bit, “So, I can stay?”

Liam smiles, “Yeah you can stay. Don’t worry, I don’t mind. And if for some reason you don’t move back in with Zayn, you don’t have to move out of here. We can talk about rent and such later if you’d like. I do enjoy the company, honestly.” 

Harry relaxes and nods at Liam, “I’d like that.” And he really would, he doesn’t want to live alone, as he never has had to do it before. It’s not something he’s ready to start doing now. Even though some of him thinks that maybe he should move on his own. Some of him wonders if he shouldn’t move to a new city and start over. He has the savings for it, he has the life for it. He wouldn’t be homeless this time. 

Harry’s getting ahead of himself and he hugs Liam, thanking him once more for all he has done. Adding on that he would talk to Zayn. And he will, eventually. 

**__________**

Eventually, as it turned out, is the following day. Harry is currently digging through stuff in his room, waiting on Zayn to get out of the shower. He’s not too sure if Zayn is aware he’s there or not and he’s not going to tell him yet. He decides to look for the bag that has some of Louis’ stuff in it, find a way to contact Louis and take it to him if he wants. He guesses he can ask Liam or Niall, he won’t ask Zayn.

Harry finds the bag he was searching for, tossed in the far back of his closet and covered in old blankets he doesn’t use anymore. He makes a mental note to wash and donate those. But he tugs the bag from under the blankets and opens it. It was more than just some of Louis’ stuff. It was photos of the two of them, photos of them and friends, family members. It was a few stuffed bears and memories. The smell, the smell was still strong as ever, the heavy scent of Louis that followed him throughout his days. A spicy scent with a soft note of a floral smell. And his cigarettes. It stuck to everything and Harry both hated and loved it.

Harry could hear the shower shu off with a squeak of the knob and a few moments later the bathroom door opens up, Zayn with a towel around his waist as he walks right into his bedroom, closing the door. Harry walks the small gap between their bedroom doors and knocks lightly, hearing a muffled curse word before it opens with a hard yank and Zayn narrows his eyes. His black hair falls into his face as he fixes a pair of shorts around his waist. 

“I think we need to talk.” Harry states as he steps back from the door a little. 

Zayn shakes his head slightly, a low unamused laugh accompanies it. “Yeah? I think not. Now if you’ll be on your way.” 

Zayn starts to close the door but Harry’s foot blocks it with a slight wince, Converse apparently had been a poor choice in shoes to come visit Zayn. “Please? I don’t want to throw this away, I don’t want to lose one of my closest friends.” 

“If I recall, that may have already taken place, so what’s the point?” 

“Why did you blame me for Louis’ choices?” 

“No, Harry I’m not doing this. What’s done is done.” 

Harry narrows his eyes, he isn’t going to give in. No matter how much of a front Zayn puts up he knows it isn’t the case. He and Zayn are best friends, he isn’t going to just let this go. He misses him and he wants him back in his life. 

“It really isn't though. We just need to talk.” Harry’s tail curls around the front of his thigh, he reaches down absentmindedly and strokes the curled fur. He doesn’t miss the way Zayn’s eyes track his hands. 

Zayn’s chest rises with a deep breath in and falls with a slow one out. He glances away from Harry as his eyes shoot towards the living area and back to Harry. “Fine. Let me get a shirt.” The bedroom door closes before Harry could realise it. He turns and heads into the living area and goes over to the back door. It’s clear, the sun high up in the sky. Zayn comes into the living area and sits on the sofa, drawing Harry’s attention as he does. Harry turns around and looks at him and Zayn shakes his head, a laugh falling from his lips. 

Harry frowns in slight confusion, “What?” He asks as he crosses his arms. His right ear flattens into his hair. 

“Just funny is all. Was in this same situation with Louis not that long ago. Standing over there.” 

Harry doesn’t see a point to that so he makes a choice to ignore it. “Why did you accuse me, Zayn?” 

Zayn of course, is no help. He just shrugs and reaches forward for his lighter. Harry rolls his eyes and his tail flicks behind him, bumping the glass door. “No, you don’t get to just shrug me off. You know why you did it.”

“No, Harry, I don’t, okay? I just took my shit out on you.” Zayn flicks his lighter a few times, watching it spark before he tosses it on the table. 

“Yeah, I’m very aware you took it out on me. I was there, remember?” Harry walks over to the sofa, standing at the end of it and looks at Zayn. 

“Why did you do it?” he asks as if he hadn’t already asked the same question. Harry is hopeful that maybe, just fucking maybe, he’ll get a response, something. 

He gets another fucking shrug and he narrows his eyes, both ears falling flat as he shakes his head. “Are you kidding me? You’re really going to do this.” 

“Yeah, guess so, H.” Zayn’s voice is quiet as he looks at his nails, turning his head in his lap. 

“You’re so willing to just toss our friendship away because you don’t want to admit you might be wrong? That’s so fucking great. What a true fucking friend.” 

“You know, it is what it is.” The words have been laced with a bitter undertone and Harry knows what he is doing, Harry knows the point of saying those words. 

The words tattooed on Louis’ chest. To anyone else, Zayn saying that would be simply a statement said. But to Harry, it is rooted much deeper. 

Harry nods and glances away, “Alright, fine. Just.” He can’t finish his words. It hurts really bad to stand there and face Zayn. Face the guy who took him in, helped him when he had nothing, had no one and now...now that person is throwing it all away because he is too scared to admit he was wrong. Too scared to admit he did something wrong and it hurts Harry. He suddenly feels so alone, feels lost once more. He needs to get out of there. He storms out of the living area and grabs Louis’ bag and leaves his room, his former room that is. Storming past Zayn who just sits, looking out the backdoor as Harry leaves. 

**__________**

The sun that had been out almost an hour ago is now covered in dark, thick grey clouds had moved in quickly. Harry is staring at the keypad to go up the steps, hesitating at the call button. He’s been standing there for ten minutes now debating and debating and just, not moving. He finally gives in and pushes it, hearing a static voice respond after a moment. Harry clears his throat and says his name, not expecting anything. Especially not the buzz of being let in. Once he makes it up to Louis’ door he finds it open, waiting for him. Finds Louis standing a few feet back with his arms crossed and a pair of plaid flannel bottoms on. He has nothing else on and his hair is a mess. A lot like it does when he falls asleep after a shower and Harry hates that he remembers such a minor thing. 

“Uhm.” Harry swallows and takes a deep breath. Because now that he’s actually standing here, he feels so small. And the way Louis looks at him, the way he watches him. He just wants him right now. Wants to feel him, wants to be wrapped up in him. 

“I brought your stuff. I don’t...” Harry can’t find words right now and it’s only a little embarrassing. 

But Louis, Louis picks up on it quickly. He takes the bag and sets it down, taking Harry’s hand and leading him inside. He kicks the door closed lightly and leads Harry down the hall to his room. Harry’s breath is shaky as Louis cups his jaw and brings their faces close, he can smell the subtly minty smell of mouthwash. Harry licks his lips.

“What do you need.” Louis asked, his tone soft and quiet. His forehead against Harry’s. 

“I need you.” It falls from Harry’s lips before he can even grasp what he was about to say. But he sighs as soon as Louis’ lips connect to his. 

The kiss grounds him then, pulling him back into his body and back to feeling something, even the smallest thing. That isn’t what he had felt on the way over. The lost feeling that was swimming around inside him, the feeling that made him feel so small. Instead he feels Louis’ tongue on his and Louis’ hands on his hips under his shirt. He doesn’t hear the heavy wind outside or the thunder cracking through the atmosphere. He hears Louis’ comforting words, the low soothing tone reassuring Harry he has him and that he would be okay. 

Harry had learned fast in life that sometimes, there are some people in your orbit that can make or break you with just a few words or touches. That some people just have this thing within them that helped them to be these amazing humans when someone needed to be comforted. When someone needed a friend, or more. Harry learned quickly that it was Louis who could ground him in many ways. Who could hold him from slipping off into space. He orbited Louis - Louis was the Sun and Harry was the Earth. Louis brought him warmth and happiness. Even in the end, the good they had shared had outweighed the bad. And like now as Louis strips Harry bare, laid out on Louis’ bed. The reminder that Louis is still there for him doesn’t go unnoticed. 

The reminder that with the soft twist of his hand and the nip of his teeth on Harry’s skin, he can bring him back to earth and send him into another space. And Harry realises as a moan slipped from his chapped lips that old habits die hard. But old loves die harder. 

**L. **

Louis has big plans for today, huge plans. Amazing plans that involved having a long shower, passing out right after the shower and sleeping the day away. Ignoring the outside world and all the idiot journalists who think he’ll decide to give them the inside scoop on why he not so elegantly retired. As if he sat at his phone waiting and deciding that caller number nine wins the front page story of Louis Tomlinson’s retirement. Which should not be such a headliner and yet, a week later he can’t turn on the telly without seeing himself. His manager and the coach have both tried to reach him also, asking for him to at least talk to one of them. Or even a team mate, anyone right now. But his plans had been to just be fucking lazy and sleep, because what else was there to do? He was retired, he had time to do things. Except the universe decided to rain on his sleep parade. Looking outside, that felt a little more literal than metaphorical. Harry is currently curled up stark naked in Louis’ big bed that he typically slept in. It was both a familiar and unfamiliar sight. The realisation that he kind of likes that sight is heavily ignored with a disgruntled glare at the sleeping hybrid. Who apparently with the way he curled his fingers around his long tail, can’t relax enough to sleep peacefully. 

Louis has done all he could to take Harry’s mind off of whatever had sent him to his doorstep in the first place. He’s given the hybrid two orgasms and gotten one in return. And as much as Louis enjoys the increase in sex he was now getting, he isn’t heartless and he knows that Harry showing up has a bigger meaning because Louis could see the hurt on his face. He knows though by looking at Harry that he just needs to be distracted and Louis knows from a few years back when they had been together, that one way to get Harry out of his mind was to make him lose it. Unravel him and bring him to his knees, begging for relief. So Louis did what he knew to do from old habits and now he watches as the hybrid sleeps. No matter how old they get, Louis will always carry a place for Harry inside of him. A little home for Harry’s heart inside of his. 

But even Louis knows that this can not become a habit. Sex between them can not ever just be sex and he sighs as he lays back down beside Harry to remind him of the same thing. That is, after he tries to get Harry to talk about what originally brought him to Louis’ door. Because he knows that he’s going to get a few nothings. Eventually he will get something. Until then, Louis curls up into Harry’s back and allows himself this moment. He may or may not deny later that he was spooning Harry with his face buried in the back of his neck. But for now, he will fully admit he misses this and has no shame in doing it. 

**__________**

It is no surprise to Louis when he wakes up to an empty bed. He still isn’t surprised when he wanders his flat and discovers no signs of Harry. The things he did find was that Harry had showered and found the box of his clothes and changed before he left. His old clothes are in the hamper in Louis’ closet. He doesn’t think about what that may have meant, he doesn’t think about the bag by the front door either as he goes back to bed and crawls in. He doesn’t think about any of it. 

And Louis is only slightly surprised with himself that he is standing at Zayn and Harry's door, staring at Zayn, the following day. He pushes past him and into the flat and goes over to the sofa, flopping down. His feet immediately leave the floor, one tucked under his thigh and the other on the coffee table.

He glances over at Zayn. He's staring at Louis with the door still open. As he goes to close it though, Liam barges in and Zayn groans. 

“Yeah no, anyone else want to just walk in like they live here? No? Ok” He slams the door closed and goes over to his normal spot on the sofa and sits down. 

“Louis, good you’re here.” Liam walks over in front of the backdoor, looking at Louis and Zayn. 

Neither Louis or Zayn comment as they both look at Liam. Liam crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at them both. “You both need to get your shit together. Zayn you need to fucking fix your shit with Harry. And you Louis, stop fucking Harry.” 

Both Zayn and Louis react to that, Zayn laughing and Louis coughing as he chokes on air. 

“Wow, you really are a fucking liar.” It’s Zayn talking and he’s directing it at Louis. 

“Zayn, since when did my sex life actually become an important thing in your life?” “So you admit it? You’re fucking Harry?” Zayn states, his eyes staring Louis down. 

“No!” Louis yells, it was his turn to glare. It isn’t a complete lie. He isn’t actively fucking Harry at the moment, so no, he isn’t fucking Harry. If only he was fucking him as much as he was telling himself he wasn’t. Wait, no. Louis shakes his head, ignoring that last thought as he looks over at Liam.

“So here’s the deal, you two idiots. Zayn, seriously fix this with Harry. You’re being pathetic now.” Liam interrupts, his arms still crossed as if he was guarding the backdoor. 

“How do you know I’ve not?” Zayn asks Liam

“I told him to come and talk to you. He came home the next day in another pair of clothes. So he went to you and tried to talk, when that didn’t work he went to Louis because old habits die hard.” 

“Only not. We aren’t fucking.” Louis responds, glancing between Zayn and Liam. 

“So you admit he went to your place?” Liam asks him as he drops his arms.

“Yes, he came to my place. He brought me some of my shit he still had.” 

Zayn snorts, “How can we believe you? You do nothing but lie to us.”

“Seriously Zayn! My life is not your business, I don’t fucking have to tell you a god damned thing about my life. Not if I want to retire, not if I’m fucking Harry. Nothing in my life is your business. You don’t get to have a say in my fucking life. It’s mine, not yours.” Louis drops his feet to the floor, scooting to the edge of the sofa and angles his body at Zayn. 

“Why did you retire though? Why did you not at least just say, yeah I think I may do this? Or give us a heads up?” Liam was asking that one, Louis looks over at him and shrugs.

“I’m tired. I can’t go anywhere without someone sneaking a fucking photo of me. I can’t have an off day, a bad day. I have to be on all the time. Eating a certain way, working out all the time. I’m just tired. I enjoyed it and I loved it, now I’m done. I just want to not do it.” 

“And telling us any of that was just something you felt we didn’t need to know? Letting us be there for you?” Louis looks over at Zayn and shrugs in response.

“Pretty much, yeah. You lot would have tried to talk me out of it. I didn’t want to be talked out of anything. I wanted to decide this on my own. The last few years of my life have been me filtering what I can and cannot do through other people. I wanted to do this on my own.” Louis looks at the table, reaching for the lighter and Zayn’s smokes. 

“You could have at least given us a heads up. We would have respected your choice.” 

Louis snorts as smoke spills from his mouth, he points his cigarette at Zayn, “You literally have called me a liar over sleeping with Harry. You acted like I owed you that information when I don’t. I love you, man. I do but some shit is not for you or anyone else. Some shit is my business. And Harry is that part of it. Whatever may or may not be happening between he and I, goes deep, and it’s mine and his to deal with. Not yours and no one around us is privileged to this.” 

Zayn nods slightly, “So, you’re fucking him?” “_Zayn_!” Both Louis and Liam yell his name, causing him to jump slightly. 

“Did you actually listen to a fucking word that Louis just said?” Liam asks, his hands on his hips. 

“Why are you obsessed with me?” Louis asks and Zayn snorts as he reaches over and snags the cigarette from Louis.

“He’s not. He’s just being a fucking dick about it. He fucked up with Harry and he’s too much of a shit to fix it because it means he has to admit he’s wrong. And Louis, it actually hurt for us all to be left out of an important thing. Yes we would have argued but in the end we would have supported you because we are your friends. No, we don’t have privilege to your life. It’s yours and only yours but as your friends, we thought something so big in your life may have been worth mentioning. We thought we may have been told something, anything. Especially at least Zayn or Niall.” Liam walks over and sits in the middle of the sofa between Louis and Zayn. He puts his hand on Louis’ knee.

“I don’t care if you’re with Harry.” Zayn mumbles as he blows smoke out. “I care that you didn’t even give us a heads up. I cared that it happened after your dinner with Harry, but I didn’t think. I was blindsided by the news and I felt like you didn’t think enough of us to tell us.” 

“I’m not with Harry. But he had nothing to do with it. I was tired of going through a wire to make choices in my life so I withheld this. I am sorry I never even gave you all a heads up. I should have at least done that. You guys at least deserved to know before everyone else, same with my family.” 

Zayn nods and Louis grabs another cigarette as Zayn starts to talk, “I shouldn’t have --” The front door opens with a heavy thud as it hit the wall behind it, all three of them turning to look and seeing Harry standing there.

His ears flick a few times before flattening on top of his head and he shakes his head, “Oh no. No.” He turns and runs, leaving the door open. Both Liam and Zayn look at Louis who blinks a few times, “What?”

“Are you not going to go after him?” Liam asks him. 

Louis frowns, “Seriously? Now you? You guys, no. We are exes, we are not going to hook up, or be hooking up or even start over. This isn’t some fanfic exes to lovers AU.”

“A what now?” Zayn asks as he put his feet up on the table. 

“Nevermind, just please stop asking me about Harry. I don’t talk to him, we don’t talk. He brought me some of my old shit he had. He crashed at mine because he didn’t want to talk about him and Zayn fighting. He left before I woke.” 

Zayn clears his throat, nodding some. “Alright, well, I'll apologise to him… eventually.” 

“Now that that’s done, can we all be friends again? We haven’t had a night out in ages. We should grab Ni and go to the pub. But I’m going to go talk to Harry.” Liam gets up before the other two can even say a word and leaves, closing the door behind him. 

Louis looks over at Zayn after Liam leaves, raising an eyebrow, “What now?”

“We can go smoke in my room.” Zayn gets up and Louis follows behind as they head to his room.

**__________**

Louis is fixing his hair in the mirror, eyes narrowed as he focuses. He sighs and gives up, pushing away from the bathroom counter. He is going to go have a few pints with Liam, Niall. And Zayn. It has been a couple of days since he talked with Liam and Zayn. After Liam left, Louis talked more with Zayn. Filling him in on what started the thought of retirement. The topic stayed away from Harry until Louis reaffirmed that Harry had no involvement. Louis had decided the next day to do it then. That he was tired of waiting for the right time. There is never a right time to do it. 

"How long will you be?" Harry crawls across the bed toward Louis.

Louis shrugs, "Not sure. This isn't a thing, Harry. We can't do this." Of course Harry hums as he starts to undo Louis' jeans

"Not a thing, got it. It's mutual, we discussed it. Now get your dick out."

Louis rolls his eyes but complies easily, doing as Harry told him. 

**__________**

Louis bites back a moan as he pulls Harry away, leaning down to kiss him. Harry's tail is still wrapped around Louis' left wrist as Harry tilts his head into the kiss. Muffled moans fall from Harry's lips as Louis works his hand on Harry's cock. He isn’t ignoring the idea that this is a bad idea, well actually he is because this is a bad idea. This won’t end well. Louis’ seen movies, this never ends well and someone always gets hurt. But the feeling of his hand on Harry as he slowly pulls the deep moans from him? Feels worth it at least for now. Louis pushes the negative thoughts from his mind. 

It wasn’t supposed to become a thing between Louis and Harry. It was never supposed to end up like this and yet, here they are a week later, getting each other off once again. Louis feels renewed with all the sex he’s had but he also finds himself mentally unhappy after each time. He tries to push the thoughts from his mind but everytime they would creep back in and the times he would say something to Harry it ended in yelling and rough sex. It ended with Harry halfway out the door after coming and slamming the door shut, Louis outside having a smoke with joggers tugged on and no shirt. When Louis didn’t say anything, when he would keep his mouth shut and just let it all happen, it was laughter and kissing. It was like old times wrapped up in new sheets in a new room. It was laying together and talking, Harry’s tail wrapped around his forearm. Harry leaving with a kiss and a quiet snick of the front door. Louis going to sleep for a little while longer. 

Outside of all that? Nothing else has really changed, in the end the only thing that has changed is that Louis and Zayn are talking and getting along. Louis and Harry are absolutely fucking now, and Louis is still not admitting to it. Though, granted, no one is asking, which good, Louis has thought. No one should, there is no reason to ask about him and Harry. Louis does end up doing an interview but he beat around the bush so much it fell over and blew away. They end up with pretty much no usable footage to air. 

Zayn and Harry are still not talking and Harry lives with Liam. Any time Louis tries to bring up Zayn and Harry to Harry, because he can’t very well do that to Zayn - Harry gets snappy. He’s told Louis to butt out so Louis tries, but he also dislikes that Harry and Zayn are not talking. It was a stupid reason and Zayn needs to step up and admit his own faults and Harry needs to let him to do it. 

Louis is pulled back from his thoughts as Harry bites into his shoulder, coming into Louis’ hand as he does. Louis runs a hand through Harry's hair, his thumb sliding across Harry's bottom lip. It is going fine. Sort of. Louis knows sooner or later he and Harry would have to talk. First he needs Harry and Zayn to talk, to fix their shit.

**H.**

The bride is driving Harry up the wall. She keeps referring to him as a mutt. She makes it painfully obvious that she views Harry as being beneath her. But her regular photographer quit. He got the call two hours before she was to be married. He agrees because _money_. And two, he feels bad until he meets her. It's now long into the reception and he sees no sign of it ending. He's tired and agitated. 

He's also been very aware that Zayn is there since he knew someone in the party. And it was only a matter of time before they spotted each other. It's times like now that Harry really misses Zayn. When he’s worn out and tired, ready to snap. Being able to talk to him would help. He remembers how easily Zayn could pick up on Harry being stressed, like they could read each other. And now it's like two strangers passing in a crowd.

"Would you fucking do your job you little mutt? I'm paying you good money." Despite the music her voice is loud and clear, people turning to look, even Zayn glances their way. 

It takes a lot to embarrass Harry. But she overdid it long ago. He is humiliated. He nods and starts snapping photos, no longer even trying to do a decent job. He was paid a deposit, he's got to at least provide photos. He has a feeling she will work her way out of paying and he was stupid not to have a contract signed. 

He's taken more photos when he needs to run to the loo. He glances around, snapping a few more pictures of some kids running through before he backs out of the reception hall. As soon as he's out of the room she’s in front of him.

"Where do you think you're going?" Her long nails pointing at him, just a breath away from his nose.

"I need the loo."

She laughs and puts her hands on her hips, "Not on my watch." 

Behind her, Harry spots Zayn wheeling a four tiered wedding cake out as he eyes Harry and Bridezilla. Harry blinks a few times before he puts his focus on the person in front of him. She's been bitching and Harry nods.

"Just gonna hop in for a quick wee. I could have been back in there already." 

Her eyes narrow and she pokes his chest, "Right, because you're going to turn around and go back in there right _now_."

Harry narrows his eyes, "No. I'm going to fucking piss. You can't stop me from using the toilet. It's my right as a human."

She tilts her head back as she laughs, "You need to be human first to have human rights, love."

"What did you just say?" Harry steps away from her, "Fuck this. I'm going to piss." 

The bride grabs his tail, pulling hard enough to cause him to yelp but before he could say anything, Zayn is in her face.

"Don't you _ever_ fucking touch him or any hybrid again. That's a fucking crime."

She snorts a laugh, "I don't know you. Are you help?"

Zayn smiles and tilts his head to the side, "Yeah. I helped your husband come this morning. So yeah, guess I am." 

Harry's eyes widens as Zayn walks over to him and lead him out of the building. They could hear a distinct scream as the doors close behind them.

"Did you drive?" Zayn asks Harry as he steps away from him.

Harry shakes his head, "Liam dropped me off."

Zayn nods toward his small car, "Come on."

Harry didn't argue, he didn't feel like declining a free ride home after all the time he spent standing and being yelled at. When he got to the car he notices the cake in Zayn's backseat. He looks up at Zayn who'd just lit a cigarette.

"Really?"

Zayn gave a half shrug, "Eh, she was a twat to you."

The corner of Harry' lip twitches a little as he gets in. He glances at Zayn as he gets in, starting the car with a cigarette between his lips. Zayn glances over his shoulder, trying to look around the cake to back up. He glances at Harry.

"I'm sorry that I took shit out on you. Sorry I was a dick. I kinda miss you shedding around our flat." 

Harry uses his fingers to brush through his tail, it still stung at the base near his body. Only one person in his life had ever pulled his tail and it was never in such a manner that he had tonight. He looks over at Zayn and smiles.

"I miss you too."

"I didn't mean to be such an ass. I just…"

Harry knew what he meant, he didn't need a grand talk with Zayn. He just needs his Zayn back. "So the cake?"

"Well, the lads are at Liam's. Figured we'd go have cake and get drunk." Zayn responds as Harry turns in his seat.

"You have cake on your car ceiling." He looks back at Zayn. He’s smiling and shrugs.

"Also, everyone includes Louis."

Harry freezes up for a moment. He's never been with Louis and any of the guys. It's always he and Louis. Naked, mostly. Not much talking besides the basic chat about their day. He’s mixed on how he feels.

"Look, I can take you to ours. But it’d be kinda cool if we could all hang out. If it gets awkward, let me know, yeah?" Zayn speaks as he takes a sharp turn, the cake shifting as he does.

"Does he know?"

Zayn nods, "Yeah. I had an idea I'd be bringing you back with me and told Niall. He knows. He had the same talk."

Harry's phone pings and it was Louis. They never talk. Just random emojis asking for sex. He opened the text.

**Louis: this should be fun. try not to flirt with me.**

Harry rolls his eyes and sends the finger emoji in response. 

He can totally do this. He has this.

**__________**

Harry was laughing mentally, but on the outside? He looked very calm. He nearly walks into a wall when he spots Louis. Harry was unaware that Liam's place had an indoor pool. So when he sees him walking into the living area with wet swim trunks on and his body still damp, Harry just barely notices the wall, thankful for Liam grabbing him into the kitchen. He asks if Zayn had told him that Louis was over and Harry swallows, nodding. Thankfully Zayn comes in with the cake and all focus is put on that. Harry goes to put his camera equipment away and as he slides by Louis he bravely reaches out and grabs his ass. 

It continues from there. They all sit around the living area eating fast food, drinking, and talking. It’s really nice and relaxing and it feels like they have always done this; the five of them. But in a way, Harry guesses it shouldn’t be that different adding him and Louis into the mix together. He is friends with the other three just like Louis is, they hang out together but never as the five of them. Harry has to wonder how that happened. He thinks there had to have been a few times where he and Louis had been in the same room with their friends and simply been unaware of it. Unaware that the two were under the same roof mingling with the same people. Somehow passing each other by. 

However as the night slowly moves on, if Louis knows he can get away with it, he reaches out and tugs at Harry's tail. The feeling to Harry is such a contrast to the way the woman had done it earlier. Hers was harsh and painful. A force that was meant to keep him in place, belittle him as subhuman. Whereas Louis’ tugs are always gentle and careful. Meant to get Harry’s attention, send a shiver down his spine, bring pleasure to him. When it is meant to be rough, it is still done with care and love behind it. He never does it in a form of aggression. Louis has always taken such care with Harry and respects him as a hybrid. He never feels subhuman with Louis. 

Tonight though, every time Louis’ fingers grasp the end and give a slight pull, it sends a shiver through Harry, reminding him of the gentle touches he’s always been given, pushing the woman’s actions from his mind. And throughout the night it continues as the drinks flow. Louis runs his fingers across the back of Harry's neck, brushing one of his feline ears, even bravely running his fingers through Harry’s hair. Little things that turn into a game of cat and mouse.

So now that Louis is sitting beside Harry and a film is playing with the lights off, almost everyone is three beers past their limit. Louis has his hand under the throw in Harry's lap, it’s between his legs applying just the right amount of pressure. He's been at it for a while and it is so good, so good in fact that he is going to come. 

Harry is biting his tongue, literally. He is on the edge of coming and he digs his fingers into the sofa between Louis and himself. Louis adds a bit more pressure and Harry's body tenses up. The line is thin and he can feel it fall away.

Liam stands up and claps loudly, "Yes that's how you do it!"

Of course right after the words are yelled into the air, Harry comes against the pressure of Louis' hand. He gasps out a breathy, 'Oh my god' as he comes and sucks in a deep breath, biting the inside of his bottom lip. He can feel eyes on him and he swallows. 

Louis laughs, "Li, sit down, distracting us from the film lad."

Niall, unfortunately, is still eyeing Harry. His face takes on multiple emotions one fading into the other. "Aye. Too much cake and beer, yea? Yeah, it'll do that to you."

Harry just nods in agreement as he tries to slow his pounding heart. He hasn't come that hard in so long and after the day he's had, he is welcoming the afterglow of it all with the alcohol in his system. 

The movie ends not long after, Liam going around counting bottles before disappearing and returning with a bowl.

"Alright everyone, keys in the bowl." He announces as he hands Niall the bowl.

Niall digs his keys out and puts them in the bowl. "Liam, I'm not into swinging. I didn't know that was this type of party." 

Zayn starts to laugh as he reaches up from the floor between the sofa and Liam's recliner and pats Niall's arm. 

"No. Everyone's had way too much to drink. You can either stay here or get an uber but no one is driving." 

"And let it be known, I occupy the spare room." Harry speaks up as a reminder. He starts to get up before he stops, glancing around the room. Everyone is distracted or not in the room so he gets up and beelines it to his bedroom. 

As soon as he closes the bedroom door he starts to strip off his clothes. He looks around for some joggers and a t-shirt to change into. He feels gross and really wants a shower. Harry tugs on the clean clothes and glances out into the hall. Niall is sprawled out on the sofa, talking away as Liam stands next to it. Harry can’t see Zayn or Louis so he quickly moves toward the bathroom, closing his bedroom door. He is in such a rush he fails to notice Louis is in there. Harry immediately turns around, closing his eyes. 

Louis laughs, “I wasn’t even going, you can calm down. Li said he had some bandaids here so I was looking in the cabinet.” 

Harry hesitantly turns around before nodding, “I’ll come back.” 

“Why?” Louis finds a bandaid and plucks it out of the box. 

“I need to shower.” “Have at it.” 

Harry glances past Louis before he nods, pulling his shirt off and walking over to the shower to turn it on. He glances at Louis who is back to looking through the cabinet, taking a tube of ointment in his hand and closing it. 

“I have to take these to Zayn.” Louis says as he waves the items in his hand and leaves the bathroom. Harry relaxes as he sits quietly, listening to laughter in the background, filtered through the bathroom door and drowned out by the sound of the shower.. 

He tugs his joggers down and lays them over the sink before he gets into the shower, tugging his tail around him and running his fingers through it. He yawns as the hot water washes over him, washing away the day’s stress from his body. As Harry turns around, he closes his eyes and tilts his head back, letting the water flow through his hair and down his bare back. He hears the sound of the bathroom door opening and doesn’t bother saying anything. He figures one of the guys needs to come in. 

A moment later though, Louis’ head peeks around the corner and Harry jumps slightly, glaring at Louis for startling him. “You could've said something.” He scolds Louis who smiles and holds a finger to his lips. 

“They’re out back.” 

Harry doesn’t respond. But Louis is still looking at him so Harry tugs the curtain back some. He is naked and it is obvious this was Louis’ intention. For some reason the realisation that this is just going to be about getting off doesn’t sit well with Harry. He immediately shoved that thought of his mind however as Louis gets in and cups Harry’s face in his hands. Louis slowly leans in, his lips dragging across Harry’s before they fully meet. 

He kisses him and it is slow, sensual. It is a cautious kiss that Harry used to try and memorise. Try to hold onto because it is a kiss that he always felt like Louis was talking to him through. Telling him every word he’s never said. Every feeling he’s ever felt but never dared to tell. It’s like a memory comes back to life. And then it’s over. And Louis stepped out of the shower. A moment later he’s gone as if he’d never entered that bathroom and Harry brings his hand to his lips. The ghost of Louis’ kiss still sitting there heavily like a weight. 

And it was that moment that Harry realises what a fool he was. 

He believed he could do this with Louis and not catch feelings. Not go back to where he once was, and yet he realises all along they were there. The feelings and emotions from a time long ago still linger beneath the surface. Lurking and waiting to show their colours, one by one. He knows what he always knew, in the end. They barely got started as friends with benefits, but it already has to end. He could piece the puzzle together from memories of each time they’d hooked up. Of each extra touch, lingering kiss. How sometimes Harry would draw it out, just for a few minutes. Just so he could have those extra moments to put it all into a memory. Harry had known he would end this, one of them would for one reason or another. He highly suspected feelings would play a roll but he honestly never thought so soon. He realises though, he never stopped having them. He just learned to keep them locked away and Louis’ kiss was the key to opening them up. To setting them free once more. 

**__________**

Harry wakes up, his breath is heavy and he looks around in the dark of his room. He doesn’t have nightmares often, he gets them like anyone else does. But as he tries to lay back down, an uneasy feeling comes over him. The same fear that was in his sleep. He’s finding himself slightly afraid of closing his eyes. He should just shove it aside like the grown man he is and go to sleep. Except he keeps tossing and turning, keeps opening his eyes and looking around the empty room. With a heavy sigh he gives up and tosses his blankets back. He glances down the hall and is able to spot Zayn stretched out in the recliner, a spare throw tossed over him. Harry glances at Liam’s bedroom door, sees it is open slightly and takes a deep breath. “Oh for fucks sake,” He mumbles as he takes the small space between the bedrooms and walks into Liam’s room. 

He walks over to the bed, nudging Liam a few times before he stirs. Liam sits up and frowns, binking up at Harry.

“Let me in.” Harry whispers and thankfully Liam doesn’t even bat an eye. He tosses the blanket back and sits up so Harry can climb in behind him. 

That was when he realises someone else was in the bed. The person rolls over as Liam settles back down in bed, pulling the blankets back up over him. There’s a street light outside of Liam’s bedroom window and even with his shades drawn a little light filters in. It gives the room enough of a glow for Harry to tell that Louis is staring back at him. “What’s wrong?” he whispers to Harry. 

Harry bites his lips, embarrassed to admit it. Louis must have picked up on it because he reaches over for Harry’s tail beneath the blankets and starts to lightly brush through the soft curled fur with enough pressure that Harry can feel his fingers against the firmness of his tail. Harry blinks a few times, Louis’ eyes on him but he doesn’t open them up again as sleep pulls him in. 

**L.**

Louis has not woken up in bed with Harry in years. When they did hook up lately, it was at his place and Harry was gone before he woke. It’s a little jarring if he was being honest. To wake up and see the sleeping hybrid in front of him. His ears twitching as he sleeps and his tail wrapped around Louis’ wrist. It’s so familiar and heartbreaking. He swallows down the feelings that have tried to bubble to the surface and removes himself from the situation as quietly as possible. Liam catches Louis in the hall before he joins the others. 

“Why did Harry get in bed with us last night?” Liam’s eyebrows knit briefly as he goes over his own wording. “You know what I mean.”

“Well he did get in bed with us. I think he had a nightmare. Do they know he was in there?” Louis whispers back, pulling Liam’s bedroom door closed.

“Yeah, Niall woke me asking if he should hop down to the shops to get stuff for breakfast. Then he said he thought it hadn't been one of those kinda parties. I told him that Harry sleep walks.” 

Louis nods, “That works, thanks.” “I just wanted to make sure he was okay is all.” 

“Yeah, yeah he’s fine. When he stresses, he has nightmares.” 

Liam nods and heads into the living area, loudly talking to Zayn who is smoking in his living area. Louis shakes his head and heads about his morning.

**H.**

It has been two and a half weeks since Louis and Harry last hooked up. Two and a half weeks since the kiss in the shower. Since neither of them have spoken. Harry has tried to contact Louis, but he would either not respond or tell him he was busy. So looking back, when Harry sees Louis at a pub, he realises it’s a very bad time to mention it to him. Or to even talk to Louis at all. Harry has been sitting at the bar and had a few. Maybe a few too many and all on an empty stomach. 

The room spins when he moves so the bartender cuts him off. He slid his phone towards her and she rang Liam to come and get his hybrid. Harry doesn’t bat an eye or argue. He’s tired and ready to go to sleep. Which he does during the short wait for Liam to arrive. And as they slowly make their way out of the packed pub, a familiar voice catches Harry’s drunken attention, sending him spinning around in place to find the owner of the voice.

His eyes fall on Louis who was with another guy,_ another hybrid_ and drunk Harry was not having that. He moves over to Louis and tugs the sleeve of his shirt, causing Louis to turn his attention towards him. 

Louis’ face falls, “Harry. Hey.”

“Why won’t you fuck me?” Harry slurs out in a half-yell. 

The hybrid who is with Louis takes Louis’ empty pint and heads towards the bar. Louis glances behind Harry and shakes his head. Harry glanced back to see Liam standing there with a weird look on his face. Harry turns his attention back to Louis, the room spinning. 

“Why are you ignoring me?” It’s a slur of words in Harry’s drunken state. He knows Louis can understand him enough because he sighs and glances around. Obviously uncomfortable. 

“Now isn’t the time for this, okay? You’re drunk. Why don’t you go home and drink some water, maybe eat something and go to bed? Call me in the morning.” 

Harry narrows his eyes, his tail flicking sharply behind him and his ears back, “No. You don’t get to tell me what to do. Why can’t you just fucking say you’re tired of fucking me and be honest? You’re always so busy. Busy what? Fucking that hybrid now? My tail not good enough for you?” 

Louis crosses his arms, eyes narrowed in the dimly lit pub, “Mate, you have no idea what you're on about. You have no fucking clue. You’re bloody wasted. Go home.” 

“No, mate. I want a bloody answer, _mate_.” 

Louis shakes his head, dropping his arms, “No, I refuse to do this with you. Bye, Harry.” 

Harry’s tail swings sharply around, hitting the front of his thigh as he grabs Louis’ arm, “Fuck no, you don’t get to walk the fuck away from me. You don’t get to sit and not answer my fucking texts and blow me off. Just be honest tell me you’re bored of me.” 

Louis pulls his arm away, his lip twitching. He sighs and nods, “Oh, right. Sorry, Harry. I forgot that’s your job.” He turns and walks away, leaving Harry to stare at some stranger’s back. He turns and storms past Liam and out of the pub.

As soon as the night air hits him the nausea isn’t far behind. He lurches forward, vomiting onto the dirt path beside the pub. A few people passing by move away quickly, laughing and making snide remarks. Harry raises his hand, middle finger up as they look at him. Liam is beside him a moment later, trying to comfort him however he could. 

**__________**

The evening sun paints the room in soft golden orange hues as Harry lays in his bed, staring at the half open shades on the bedroom window. Liam had brought him food and water early that morning, far too early to be humanly possible if you ask Harry. He brought it all in on a tray, without a word spoken, only suggesting Harry get something in him or he may regret it later. He promptly rolled over and went back to sleep. The midday light of the sun woke him later, telling him Liam had opened the shades. Harry simply pulled the blankets over his head, curling up into a little ball underneath them. 

Now he’s lying in a pile of blankets and pillows he’d taken from all over Liam’s flat. He realises the man has far too many throws and pillows when he opens a closet door in the hall. He drags as much as he can and whatever he can find that doesn’t have Liam’s cologne all over it, or his scent period. The downside Harry has always felt about being a hybrid, at least to him, is the heightened sense of smell. He can smell people in ways humans cannot. It was one of the first things to draw him to Louis, his natural smell, the way it was soft and comforting to Harry. Harry wants to build a nest, a strong need to do it and he doesn’t want any scent of Liam in it, or around it. 

The light of the day is almost gone, the darkness close behind as Harry sighs heavily and tugs a blanket up over his head. He can hear Liam washing dishes on the other side of the wall. The sound of pots and pans being moved about. Harry has been in his nest since mid afternoon, has been in the room since late last night. He’s eaten bits of the food Liam had brought and drank some of the water but he has no appetite. His head hurts but his heart hurts more. His head is pounding and he feels sick to his stomach, but he isn’t sure anymore if it’s a hangover or the fact that his nerves are shot and he’s simply heartbroken. He knew it would lead to this, knew that it would end up like this and yet he did it. He dove head first into any chance he had with Louis, not realising at first what he was doing. Only knowing at the time that he was having fun with someone he missed. Oh how quickly the feelings came though, just like the first time. 

_The flutter in his stomach as he’d lay out on Louis’ bed, watching as he slowly kissed his way down Harry’s body. His bright blue eyes glancing up at Harry. The way his beard would rub against Harry’s skin. So many little things that Harry could pick from memory, from a time when it was all they had. Just him and Louis, and the late hours of the night. Just him and Louis and the early morning sun. The shared kisses, shared touches, shared everything; from the good and the bad to the mundane days of a couple orbiting each other on a late Sunday afternoon in a comfortable silence. Every touch, gasp, moan of his name and Harry could pinpoint another moment in time, a moment from years ago that he’d been in the same moment with Louis. And with each moment, it was another snip at the strings that had been holding his heart together, keeping his feelings for Louis locked up inside of him. Each moan, each kiss, every single little thing. It all pulled Harry in deeper and deeper. _

And then when they had been in the shower and they kissed like no other kiss had come before. The dam broke and with it all the emotions that Harry had worked at filing away from the front of his mind. All those emotions that he’d just spent the last few weeks pretending didn’t exist spilled over and flowed through him like adrenaline. And then that was it. As quick as it had all happened, it ended. Whatever it was, it was over. And Harry knew it from the start. He knew the next day that _something_ had changed when he woke up and saw Louis sitting at the foot of the bed. The sound of their friends’ laughter echoing through the flat. But the room was heavy and quiet and Harry could feel it like electricity in the air. He’d sat up and moved over to Louis, laying his chin on Louis’ shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist. Louis just breathed slowly, calmly as he sat there, not moving and neither did Harry. Staying wrapped up around Louis was all he had at that moment and he knew it was the last time he would have it. He wanted to hold onto him for just a little longer. But he didn’t have it, interrupted by Niall yelling down the hall for Louis. Harry let go and kissed Louis’ shoulder before he moved away. Watching as Louis got up and left, not even saying goodbye. Not even looking back. As much as Harry knew, he still wanted to hear it from Louis. And the words never came. 

So later when Harry saw him at the pub, all the alcohol he’d consumed had taken over him like another person and it took control and he has so many regrets about approaching Louis, he really does. But what’s done is done and Harry knows he can't go back and change it. Because if he could, he would have shown up at the train station all those years ago. 

Harry hears a familiar laugh from the hall and he tenses up in his nest. A laugh he didn’t want to hear anytime soon, a laugh he really did not even need to hear right now. It isn’t fair that he feels like he’s on the verge of tears in his nest in the dark while Louis is out there laughing with Liam. Harry isn’t heartless, he knows this has got to be some sort of karma for breaking Louis’ heart, right? A light knock on his door is the last thing he needs right now, he pushes out from beneath his blanket and stares at the door in the dark.

“Go away.” He’s assuming it is Liam because he’s pretty sure there would be no way that Louis would be knocking. 

But the knock comes again and Harry ignores it, ignores it as it happens two times more before he can hear the door open. He’s mentally shooting laser beams through the blankets at Liam. Only when the door closes with a soft snick and the bed sinks a little, Harry can smell the smoke lingering off of Louis. Harry’s eyes are closed tightly and he’s mentally counting to ten with each breath he holds in before he lets it out. 

“Harry, we need to talk.” Louis’ voice is soft and low. It’s calming to Harry’s nerves and he feels so small. 

He doesn’t respond. There’s nothing to say, nothing to fix this. Louis doesn’t seem to be on the same page though. 

“Fine, I’ll talk and you can listen.” 

So, Harry guesses Louis’ going to do this anyway. He licks his dry lips as he feels Louis shift on the foot of the bed. 

“I really wish you had tried to talk to me sober, I know you had been texting me but I had been busy. And no, before you even try it. I was not with that other hybrid, Harry. I was just hanging out with a friend and he’s married. He just got back from his honeymoon so we decided to go have a few drinks.” Harry can hear Louis sigh, he can feel him tugging at the blanket on top of him. Not heavily, just a slight tug like he’s messing with a tag or something. 

“Harry, I care a shit load about you and I carry a shit load of hurt from how it ended with us. I made a mistake in allowing us to sleep together. I should never have let us do that. And not just for me, for you too because I know you’re hurting. We both got stupid and caught up in something that was only going to lead to both of us hurting each other and ourselves and yet, we still did it.” 

Harry really doesn’t need to hear what he already knows, Louis pretending he’s hurt doesn’t help though so he doesn’t get why he’s saying any of this. 

“I started to fall for you again and I realised, I can’t do that. No matter how much I still love you, Harry, I can’t go down that road with you again.” 

Harry slowly sits up, pulling the blankets off his head as he does. He can see Louis half way facing him. “You really fucking came here to tell me this? You really fucking...” Harry laughs, it’s cold and humourless. He can taste the salt of tears hit his lips and he licks them. “Really? Is this pay back for what I did to you?”

Louis doesn’t look at Harry, he’s looking at the blanket in his hands. “It’s just me telling you how it is. We can’t ever go back so we shouldn’t even try to go forward. I’m sorry, Harry.” 

“You need to go.” Harry sniffs as he pulls the blanket back over his head, letting the emotions fall from him. 

**L.**

Louis hasn’t spoken to any of the guys since he left Liam’s a few nights ago. He’s had calls but he mutes them. Eventually he shuts his phone off completely. He just needs to get away from things for a while. Take a holiday, go disappear off to some island for a few days and not think. Yet all he finds himself wanting to do is go to Harry. He wants to see him, talk to him. He’d missed him so much and then he had him in his life again. But falling for him was a mistake. He could tell that the feelings had been mutual. But he doesn’t want to risk more heartbreak. For him or for Harry. He wants to mend that relationship and move on. He wonders if it’s his turn to walk away. He doesn’t have a chance to think on that thought more before there’s a heavy knock at his door and he knows that knock. “No, Niall. Go away,” he yells from his spot on the living area floor, smoke filling the air in heavy clouds as he exhales. 

“Not happening, I know the fucking code, you can either let me in or I let myself in.” 

Louis sighs, “No, thanks. Bye now.”

He can hear the beep of the keypad buttons before the door opens up. Louis can’t see Niall from where he’s laying on the floor but he can hear him as he walks into the living area. 

“For fucks sake, Louis. It looks like a bloody chimney in here, stop smoking.” 

“I can make my own bad life choices, thanks.” Louis puts the cigarette out and gets up off the floor. 

“So, not here to talk about your sad life, here to discuss business.” 

“I have no business to discuss, Niall.” 

“Wrong, you have another charity auction.” Louis’ turns his head so fast that he thinks he may have just pulled a muscle.

“I do not.” 

“You signed the fucking contract, Louis. You agreed to two. We have another one happening and it's the same set up. Only a select few will be bidding though because it’s a different crowd.” 

“No, No I do not know and I will not be doing this. Let me just donate the money directly.”

Niall shakes his head, “No, you will be doing it. You don’t get to fuck off this charity shit because you’re having a misrable time, Louis. These people have it worse than you so suck it the fuck up buttercup.” Louis blinks at his friend, a frown forming on his face, “Okay.” “Good, now go fucking take a shower. Let’s go have a few pints and talk about your failure of a love life.” 

Louis stares at Niall before he speaks, “Geez, way to be comforting.”

“I try my best, now go.” Niall claps his hands as he sits down on the sofa and pulls his phone out. 

Louis tosses his middle finger in the air as he turns and heads toward his room. As much as he doesn’t want to do the charity thing, as much as he doesn’t want company or to leave his flat he knows that he needs to do this. He’s spent the past few days alone and wallowing in his thoughts. It’s time to move on and forget about everything that has happened.

**__________**

Spending time with Niall was what Louis has needed. He wasn’t looking forward to going out but when he was sat in a booth with Niall across from him, talking away about random things, he realises it isn’t so bad, and within an hour he’s laughing and enjoying himself. It’s going well until Niall decides to talk about other things. Things that Louis is very much not on board with.

“So, I don’t know much but, apparently you and Harry fought?” 

Louis glances at his half drank pint and shrugs, “Yeah. How’d you know? Liam?”

Niall nods, “Yeah but that was all he said.” 

“But you made a remark about my love life.” “I had assumed that maybe it had to do with you and Harry and your relationship, or lack of whatever. That just sort of confirmed it to me.” 

Louis takes a sip of his beer. It’s getting warm now and the taste is awful so he swallows it all back and shoves the glass towards Niall in a hint to get more. He doesn’t bother responding, he doesn’t care to. “What happened? I mean, I get you don’t want to talk about it.” Niall sighs and gets out of the booth. “Just, whatever it is. I hope it gets resolved. For you and for him because I care for both of ya. I hate seeing you two hurting, Lou. You both deserve happiness and neither of you have that.” 

“I fell back in love with him.” He isn’t sure if admitting it to someone else besides himself is the thing to do, but he needs to hear the words out loud. He isn’t sure either if Niall had even heard him. But the way he’s staring at Louis tells him that he had.

“Wow, okay. Hang on. We need a few Big Bang shots. I wonder if Lauren’s working.” Louis watches as Niall makes his way towards the bar. He looks at the empty glasses and sighs, his shoulders dropping. He was hoping that he would feel something else after admitting that he was in love with Harry. Instead he feels more empty and more tired. He just misses Harry. He misses him like he’d missed him when he first moved and had to leave him behind because Harry had decided, without telling Louis, that they had broken up. He feels the way he felt back then and it felt stronger, it hurt more. He wants to go home, he feels sick to his stomach now and he doesn’t want to be here. He sees the tall bright blue shot be set down in front of him and he takes it, shooting it back before he reaches for Niall’s, who didn’t even have a chance before it was in Louis’ mouth. He frowns as Louis hands him the empty glass back. 

“Wow, okay. So, talk.” Niall sits down across from Louis, his ears flattening slightly. Concern is written heavily all over his face as he leans on the wooden table. 

“I love him and I fucking miss him. I didn’t want to end it but I feel like if we even think of going down that road, it’s just going to end up with us being hurt. So I ended it before it could happen.”

“And you hurt the two of you anyways. Did you even give Harry a chance to talk about this?” 

Louis shakes his head as he turns the shot glass over and stacks one on top of it. “No. I didn’t and. I fucked up. I assumed it would end bad because I’m still bitter, really fucking bitter. He fucking didn’t even try to talk to me, Ni. I’m so angry.” 

“Why did you even sleep with him again?” 

“I missed him. I missed him so fucking much and I wanted whatever I could have, but without the feelings. In the end, I got way more and I’m so mad at myself.”

Niall gathers up the empty glasses as he huffs out, slightly agitated, “Listen, Louis. You need to talk to him, you really need to talk to Harry and tell him this. This isn’t fair for either of you. Yes, what he did was fucked on so many levels. But, Lou, you two need to get past that and I think the only way is to talk about it. Not fuck each other or yell, literally like you and I are.” 

“I know and I’m not sure I can do it without being a dick.” 

“You’ll have to. I know he fucked up, he knows he messed up. We all fuck up sometime in our life. You need to just buckle down and talk to him.” 

Louis nods, “Maybe.” That is all he would commit to. He isn’t going to commit to talking to Harry. While he may have missed him, he is also not in a hurry to see him again. Let alone discuss their past with him. 

That night Louis is laying in bed, the shadows of passing cars shine a light across his room because he was too tired to close the curtains when he got home, stripping as he walked down the hall and crawled into bed. He and Niall had one more drink before leaving, parting ways at the entrance to the pub. Louis wanted to walk home, get some fresh air and think. Honestly the last thing he wanted to do was to actually think. He didn’t want to think at all. He didn’t want to remember anything that had to do with Harry. He wanted it out of his life, he wanted him gone from his mind and his heart. From him all together. There was one major flaw in all of that though. The part where he really didn’t want any of it. The whole bit was just a thing he was trying to tell himself was true, that if he believed it hard enough, well maybe it would make walking away easier. 

Louis knows that being angry is going to get him nowhere. He spent his time being angry already. He needs to resolve it. But he doesn’t know how to because deep down, he doesn’t know who he is angry at. Himself or Harry, or maybe both. What he does know is that he feels this anger inside of him. It is blanketing the other emotions and that is a path he doesn’t want to walk down, not yet. He once thought he was over Harry, over the emotions that breaking up caused, over the love he had inside of him. 

The day he found out it was Harry who had won the auction, was the first day that he realised that he missed him. The night he saw him, seeing him sit at the table where they had once shared a meal, planning their future, a future filled with hope and promise, he realised he still loved him. The day at his apartment when they fucked again, for the first time in what felt like forever, he realised he wanted to do it again. But with less anger, less aggression. At least sometimes. And when they did start to sleep together, the long hours spent beneath the sheets of Louis’ bed… he knew he didn’t want this to end. He knew he didn’t want Harry to leave when he woke up. But the real wake up call, was when he was sitting on the sofa with Harry beside him at Liam’s. The friends they shared sitting with them and all five of them watched a film, laughing and drinking. Before he’d decided to try and get Harry off with them around, without them knowing. 

Louis had looked over at Harry and watched as one of his ears twitched, watched as he tilted his head when something happened on the telly. He etched Harry to memory, tracing each line of his face with his eyes. The way he slightly smiled when the couple finally kissed. The way his shoulders slouched when the lead female cried. Louis doesn’t remember what film they watched, but he knows he would watch it again if it meant watching Harry instead. That night he realised how his heart swelled for the hybrid beside him, how it ached to be his once more. He realised just how much hurt he still felt. He realised that he never forgave Harry. He realised that he was angry with himself also. And ultimately he realised he needed to stop sleeping with Harry. He gave himself one last thing, one more night to ignore the feelings he’d kept hidden away. 

It had been much easier to just shut Harry out. Because by shutting him out he could avoid it all together. Only he didn’t stop to think what that may mean to Harry. He didn’t realise at the time that he was doing the same thing Harry had done to him. Shut him out of his world. When Louis did realise he had hurt Harry, he thought he didn’t care about his actions. Only he did care, looking back at it with a not so sober mind as he lay there in the dark. He hurt Harry and no matter how much Harry had hurt him, he never wanted to hurt him. He never wanted Harry to feel the pain he feels. Not even half of it. 

So much of Louis loves Harry, so much of Louis wants nothing more than to be Louis and Harry once more. To be his partner, to love him and care for him. He knows deep down what he really feels. He’s had plenty of time to think it all over. To come to terms with them. He knows he keeps trying to avoid coming to terms with them and would rather just be angry. He knows, he really does know what has to be done. 

**__________**

Louis knows one of two things. He needs to talk to Harry like a real adult and while he is sober. Okay so that alone was two things, so technically three. The third being he needs to do it before he chickens out. However, he hadn’t intended to do it now, he was standing at Liam’s door at four in the morning. The world around him fast asleep in their beds. Blissfully unaware of Louis’ internal battle happening on his best mate’s door step. 

Liam though, looks like he would like to kill Louis on sight when he opens the door. Then his face falls and Liam looked worried, “Are you alright? What’s going on?” He ushers Louis in like an orphaned boy at a church. 

“‘M fine, Liam. I need to speak to Harry.” 

“At this hour?” Liam asks as he locked the front door. 

“Yeah, it’s now or never.” 

Liam sighs, crossing his arms over his bare chest. “Louis, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“I do, I think it’s a marvelous idea.” Louis crosses his arms too. It’s a bad idea, he knows it is but he also has been struggling to sleep the last few days. He needs to do this before he backs out altogether. 

“Louis.”

“Liam, if I don’t do this now. I never will. I will never forgive myself for not doing it, but…” Louis sighs, watching as Liam drops his arms to his side and nods.

“Okay. I’m going to bed, if you need me, you can wake me. I love you, Louis.” He pats Louis on the shoulder and heads back to his room, leaving Louis to stand alone in his living area. 

Louis takes a deep breath and heads down the hall, walking slowly as he approaches Harry’s door. He taps lightly on the door with his knuckles, loud enough for Harry to hear if he’s awake, which Louis had doubted but wasn’t sure. But it’s low enough he wouldn’t wake him. He quietly opens the bedroom door and walks in, a small lamp with changing colours illuminates the room in different hues. Each colour glowing for a moment before it slowly fades into another. Harry is curled up in his nest, a throw blanket half way on top of him. Louis finds himself wanting to crawl in beside him and wrap himself around the sleeping hybrid. He walks over to the bed and kneels down at the edge, staring at him as he sleeps. 

He didn’t think this through enough, he definitely didn't. And he regrets that now as he sees Harry stirring. His eyes slowly open, a frown on his lips as he slightly sits up. 

“Louis? Did something happen?” His voice is thick with sleep as he reaches for his phone and checks the time.

Louis shakes his head. He pushes Harry’s phone away from his hand, “I need to talk to you.”

“Now?” 

Louis nods, “It's now or never, Harry. A little birdie told me I need to man up. And I think we both need to.”

Harry looks like he might disagree, but instead he nods and sits up. “Fine. But go make me coffee.” 

**H.**

Harry is not sure what he is supposed to be feeling right now. The only thing he really knows is that he wants to go back to bed. And that's just him being honest with himself, he doesn't want to have this talk, he doesn't want to face these feelings. He doesn't want to face Louis. To admit that he has feelings. To have to admit anything at all about how he feels, was something he was not ready to do. But at the same time he really needs to do this. He needs it to happen. Sitting beside Louis right now is a lot for him to feel. But Louis woke him up and Harry could tell by looking at him that this was something he meant when he said it was now or never.

Harry is torn. Half of him wants to just let Louis go. And the other part of him wants to just wrap himself around Louis and never let him go again. For Harry it just feels easier to let Louis go. It also means he would not have to face his emotions. 

It’s so much easier to lie to yourself and everyone around you than to admit anything. And Harry isn’t sure which path to take. What does he have to lose to admit he feels things for Louis? What does he have to lose at all? Besides Louis? Harry’s eyes slowly move from the wall to Louis. Louis is staring forward, leaning forward with his arms on his knees. He’s squinting, looking lost in thought. 

Harry clears his throat, pulling his tail into his lap. “So, what is it that you just had to wake me at the ass crack of dawn to tell me?” He sounds only slightly bitter saying it. 

“I realised a lot of things lately. I think some of it I had known all along.”

Louis takes a deep breath, his shoulders lift and fall in time with his breathing. He runs a hand over his beard and shakes his head slightly. “I still love you.”

Harry blinks. That was absolutely not the words he was expecting to hear from Louis tonight. Or well, ever.

“I don’t want to love you. I want to pretend you don’t exist.” 

Oh, well there it is. Harry slightly rolls his eyes as Louis continues.

“I know when we broke up, it wasn’t just me who was hurt. I believe you loved me and wanted us to work. So I believe the choice you made hurt you also.” He ran his hands over his face before reaching for a cigarette. Louis didn’t light it, just moved it between his fingers, “Harry, I realised real fucking fast that us having sex was a fucked up idea. It was only going to lead to us hurting each other. I was hoping to get out of it before that happened.”

“And here we are.” Harry speaks. 

“I don’t know what to do.” 

“Louis, what do you know?” 

“I know I love you and it’s a bad idea.” 

Harry nods as he grabs Louis’ lighter, “Why is it a bad idea?” Harry gets up and heads towards the back, opening the door quietly and sitting in a chair. He can hear Louis following behind him. His voice quieter in the night air as he sits down beside Harry.

“We will only get hurt.” 

“I’m glad you’re thinking about me in this also. But did you ever think maybe we wouldn’t? Why do you think we would end up hurting?” Harry lights the cigarette.

“Why wouldn’t we? We went from not seeing each other in years to fucking. That’s asking for a problem.” He reaches over and plucks the cigarette from Harry’s lips. 

Harry exhales a cloud of smoke slowly, watching as it lifts up into the air. “Louis, you have got to stop trying to predict the future. Yes, what we did could have lead to trouble. But you lead us to it first. Why not fucking come and talk to me? It wasn’t like you were alone in it.”

“Why didn’t you talk to me?” 

“I didn’t realise that I was feeling anything for you until you kissed me in the shower.” Harry’s voice is quiet as he looks up at the clear night sky. It’s beautiful out. It feels so quiet, and empty. Like it was just he and Louis left in the world. He can’t even hear the sound of a car or a dog barking. 

Harry looks over at Louis and watches as he takes a long drag of the cigarette and looks down at the ground. He licks his lips as he exhales. “I realised it in stages. I realised I missed you, I realised I loved you, still. I realised that I was still hurt. I realised that I really missed you. More than the hurt that still lingered, I missed you. I missed so much and I wanted it back.”

“I have few regrets, Louis. One of them is that I regret never being honest with you. I don’t regret not showing up though. I was scared and alone. I felt fucking alone even with you in the same room, I felt invisible.”

“You really felt that way?”

Harry runs his fingers through his tail on his lap and nods, “Did you know I had started going and sitting outside at the events I went to with you?”

Harry watches as Louis turns around, looking at him with an unreadable expression. Louis shakes his head.

“One time I went across the street and ordered food, ate it and returned. You asked if I got lost in the loo. Louis, I will forever be proud of you. I was and still am so fucking proud of how far you’ve come. But I had to think of what I wanted. How I felt and unfortunately the only outcome was going to lead to a breakup. Either I moved and we got more distant and eventually we’d fight. I just closed the book on us before it got bad. I should have never ignored you. I should have been up front about it all.”

“You don’t know if it would have gotten worse, Harry. You didn’t even try.”

“It was already happening, Louis. You fucking left a party I threw for you with your team mates. You didn’t even tell me bye. And you fucking texted me, telling me I should have been there, at the party that I did for you. Did you block all this out? Because you literally forgot I threw that party. ” 

Louis looks upset, like he’d just been kicked. He glances away from Harry and takes a deep breath His shoulders rising and falling. Harry hasn’t wanted to be so honest with Louis because he knows that it wasn't intentional on Louis’ part. He knows Louis had loved him. That he was caught up in new things, a new life and world around him. One he’d worked his ass off to get to. And Harry knew that Louis just got a little lost along the way. 

“Louis, it happened. What is done is done. Rehashing it isn’t going to fix it. We can make a choice to let go and move on, or stay here and go in circles. Only one of those will be healthy for either of us.” 

Harry swallows as he watches Louis sigh, his eyes close and he tilts his head back. “I love you so much, Harry. I love everything about you and I think I’m more angry with myself for not fighting harder. I think of all the what ifs and all the would have, could have, should haves. And...” Louis runs his hands over his thighs and shakes his head. “I tried to hate you for so long. I even thought I did. Until I saw you at the restaurant. And I realised, I never really did hate you. I forgave you so long ago, but I didn’t forgive myself. I just pushed the anger and hurt off onto you. Because you weren't there for me to confront. It was easier to deny the truth.” 

“I never stopped loving you. I will never stop loving you. We could fall in love and marry other people but you will always have a place inside my heart. A small little Louis size folder inside of me.” “I wanted to resolve things.”

Harry sighed and smiled weakly, “Louis, not everything has a resolution. Sometimes they happen and we just let it be. We need to go forward and stop looking back. It won’t change anything.”

“But what about the future, Harry?” Louis looks over at Harry, his eyebrows knitted.

“What about it?”

“Won’t the past affect our future?” Louis questions, his tone flat.

“Only if we let it. The past can be in the past, and we can have a future without it. You just need to know what you want, Louis Tomlinson.” 

“I know what I want. But I don’t know what you want.”

Harry smiles slightly, “I think you know.” He takes a deep breath, his smile fading as he huffs out a quiet laugh, “I think you and I are on the same page. But just in case, I’ll tell you anyway.” Harry gets up from the chair and walks over to Louis, kneeling down by his knees and putting his hands on Louis’ thighs to balance himself. “I know I love you and I miss you so much. I know that I would do anything to have another chance with you. Because I want you in my life. But I want you in my life so much that even if we’re just friends I will take it. Because you mean more to me than sex and orgasms. You have always been one of my best friends, my rocks in life and I miss it.” 

Harry’s ear twitches as Louis runs his hand through Harry’s hair. His fingers moving towards the right ear that was a slightly lighter colour from the left. He rubs the soft fur covered ear between his fingers,. “I love you. I would do anything for another chance to have you in my life. I will take you anyway I can have you. I realised long ago that all I want is you. Without you it felt like something was missing. But since you've been around it’s been different, and in a good way and I like it. I don’t want you out of my life ever again. But I will also say, that if by chance you don’t want me around. I will accept that too. I won’t be happy, but I’ll let it all go. Because I just need you to be okay in the end, to find someone who makes you happy. And if I’m not that person. So be it, life will go on. We will move on.” 

Harry lays his head on Louis’ thigh and closes his eyes, letting Louis brush his fingers through his hair, running them slowly over his ears. He lets himself just have this small moment before he opens his eyes, “I don’t want you to go away, I don’t want to lose you again. I’m so sorry, Louis. I’m sorry I didn’t come to you. Sorry I didn’t give you a chance, give us a chance. I never meant to hurt you, I knew I was going to. And I never wanted to and for that, I’m so sorry.” 

“I know you are, love. I know. I’m sorry, too.” 

Harry looks up at Louis from where he is kneeling, smiling weakly. He loves Louis more than anything, and he is getting a second chance. He doesn’t want to fuck it up, he isn’t going to let that happen again. He moves up and kisses Louis’ inner forearm softly before he stands up. He holds a hand out for Louis, smiling when he takes it and leads him back inside and to his bedroom. Once inside he closes the door, locking it and watches as Louis stands at the foot of his bed. 

“I just want you to lay with me.” Harry walks over and crawls back into the bed, feeling it dip in behind him as Louis joins him. 

“Did you ever find out why Zayn and I made up?” he asks into the darkness, feeling Louis’ body pressed against his own. Louis’ hands slide over Harry’s stomach, pulling him closer. 

“He just said some twat of a bride was being a bit rude.” 

“She pulled my tail in a manner to keep me from moving and treated me like I was beneath her because I’m a hybrid.” He isn’t sure why he is saying that, telling Louis any of it. It’s in the past and he’d gotten over it fairly easily. He knew some people were dicks and that they would show their nastiness. He’d learned long ago to not let it get to him. But he worries he’d said something wrong when he feels Louis move away. 

Harry rolls over onto his back and looks towards Louis, sat up on his knees. “You know that isn’t true right? You know you’re amazing, and beautiful and I’m so sorry someone did such a thing to you. No one has the right to put their hands on you, especially to pull your tail. That can be such a personal thing.” 

Harry nods and reaches out, putting a hand on Louis’ thigh. “I know, love. Not sure why I told you.”

“I’m glad you did. You need to know how amazing you are. How beautiful you and your tail are. You’re worth more than everything to me.” Louis leans down and places a soft kiss on Harry’s lips. Harry smiles against his lips and kisses back, feeling Louis take his tail in his hands and his fingers slowly push through the fur. Louis sits back and combs his tail slowly, lightly. 

“You have the most beautiful tail ever. It’s long and thick, I love the way the curls are little ringlets. I love how the fur spirals around my fingers when I play with it.” Louis lets Harry wrap his tail around his wrist and up his forearm some as he uses his other hand to comb the fur, to feel the soft silky texture between his fingers. 

“No one should ever, ever pull your tail.” 

“That’s not true.” Harry’s voice is quiet as he relaxes. 

“You’re right. Only I should ever do that.” Louis gives a slight tug to Harry’s tail, causing Harry to laugh lightly. 

“Only you.” He whispers, smiling when Louis leans down and kisses him. 

Having someone lay Harry naked on the bed and proceed to kiss and touch their way down his body was so familiar and yet life changing. From his head to his chest, to his thighs and on. The way Louis knew just how to touch him in the right places, make every surge of arousal come simply from the right, gently spoken words indicated an intimacy Harry never thought he would get back. As Louis’ voice quietly told him everything he loved about Harry’s thighs, he lightly scratched his blunt nails on the inside of them. The way Louis nosed along Harry’s bare cock, his breath ghosting Harry’s skin as he exhaled, now with his hand wrapped in Harry’s tail, Harry felt so needed. Loved. Treasured. He never doubted that Louis loved him, not really. But sometimes, having someone write a sonnet about his body as they touched him was even more assurance and felt more freeing than he could ever have imagined.

**L.**

The Halloween Charity Ball is going smoothly. Everyone is in high spirits and Louis can hear laughter as he passes by people on his way to the bar. He’s stood in the same place as the last silent auction, where he can see the line of tables for the bids to be placed. He can see who comes and goes from his auction. An intimate dinner with Louis Tomlinson and a guest. Like last time, only this time Louis is trying to refrain from keeping anyone else from actually winning. He may be retired, having still avoided discussing that with media over the last month or so now. But he is still recognized on the streets, though not nearly as much . He takes a deep breath as he watches someone walk over to the area that had his auction, glancing around before putting a bid down and scurrying off. Louis sighs and shoots back the rest of his drink, setting the glass down on the bar top. 

Louis shakes his head as he sees the name written down, suppressing a laugh at the bid. He quickly bids against them, adding one dollar over and steps away. Louis doesn’t go all the way back over to the bar though, he’s close by but out of sight. An entire song plays, two others walking by and glancing at his auction before moving on to another one and the familiar person returns. Louis smiles and walks over to them, his hand going right for the long tail with a bow on the end of it. He gives a slight tug, pulling Harry’s attention to him. 

“And what do you think you’re doing?” Louis questions as he lets go of Harry’s tail.

“I was just upping the bids a bit.” He smiles innocently and Louis shakes his head.

“There will be none of that. Why don’t you go find Niall and be a good boy, yeah?” He leans in and presses a quick kiss to Harry’s cheek. 

Harry nods and turns to walk away and as he does, Louis reaches out and slaps his hand across Harry’s ass. He laughs when Harry yelps and turns around to look at Louis. “Do that again and you won’t be here to make your speech.” 

Louis laughs as he watches Harry retreat back into the crowd. He glances down at the half written bid and shakes his head. He finishes it off, upping it by a dollar and walks away. Once he gets back to the bar he lets his eyes scan the crowd, spotting Zayn and Liam talking, their heads close and the world around them tuned out. He smiles a little as he watches them interact. People have to move around them to get by as they chat, lost in their own world. His eyes leave the two, drifting from person to person, occasionally one would see him and toss a wave. He waves back but over all he just stands by the bar, enjoying another rum and coke as he watches everything in front of him. 

His eyes slowly drift towards a familiar face as he takes a slow sip of his drink. He locks eyes with Harry across the room, people moving between them, filling the gap. Harry keeps his focus on Louis’ as he plays with a fabric napkin, pulling it between his fingers. Louis licks his lips and glances away, briefly, before his eyes slowly drift back over to meet Harry’s once more. Louis spots Niall walking over to Harry and talking to him. Harry nods his head but he holds his stare, keeping his focus on Louis as if he had a target around him. 

There’s something heavy in the stare. Something in the way that Harry holds eye contact as he speaks to Niall, which didn’t last long as Niall followed Harry’s line of sight to Louis and leaves after that. Harry slowly licks his lips as he folded the napkin on the table and lays his hands on top of it. He looks away, toward the stage and Louis sighs. He can see Niall coming his way and he greets him once he’s close enough to hear it.

“Your cat’s got a death stare on you.” Niall says as he leans on the bar top, waving down the bartender. 

“That’s what you think it is?” Louis asks as he looks towards Niall.

“Isn’t it?” 

Louis smiled and shakes his head, “No.” Because it isn’t, as he turns his attention from Niall back to Harry across the room. The way Harry’s eyes drift from the wine in his glass and meet Louis’. It isn’t that at all. It’s something else and Louis thinks he may know what it is. He just isn’t sure yet. He pats Niall on the back and steps away, walking over to the auction table. He eyes Harry who is watching him closely as he takes a slow sip of his wine. 

Louis looks down at the clip board and pretends to write, merely making a swirl mark instead and counts to ten in his head. 

“What are you doing?” A familiar voice comes from his left and Louis drops the pen, looking over at Harry who has his arms crossed. His long tail sways behind him. 

“Nothing. Just seeing what the bids are up to.” 

Harry nods and eyes the board, someone else had bid since he was last there and he narrows his eyes. Louis raises his eyebrows in question as he watches him. When Harry puts his attention back to Louis his gaze flicks away. 

“You want to bid, don’t you?” Louis asks him with a slight smile.

“No, they can bid all they want.” Harry turns and walks away, swaying his hips as he did. 

Louis shakes his head and follows him, when he gets close enough he reaches for Harry’s tail, pulling just hard enough, just enough to send a slight hint of pain to Harry and smiles when his steps halt and he turns around quickly with narrowed eyes. “Why don’t you want anyone to bid on me, Harry?” 

Harry shrugs and turns, walking away from Louis. Louis sighs, turning to walk back to the bar. He orders another drink, asking the bartender to surprise him. He drinks it down quickly, his throat burning as the liquid flows. He slams the glass down and waves for another, watching as she fills it. He shoots that one back also and nearly chokes when a hand grabs him between his legs. He was so focused on the burn of the brown liquid that he didn’t even notice Harry approaching him, let alone being close enough that he could grab his cock through his fitted trousers. 

Harry leans in close, his lips against Louis’ ear, “Cat got your tongue?” He squeezes and pulls his hand away, dragging his fingers down Louis’ inner thigh. 

Louis’ eyes flutter closed as he takes three deep breaths. He opens his eyes and looks over at the bartender, her eyebrows raised at them. He holds up two fingers and shoves the glass across the bar top. She shakes her head, annoyed and turns away. He made a mental note to tip her, squinting in the dark to read her name tag, “Sus” he nods repeating it in his head and biting his bottom lip as he feels Harry’s lips on his neck. 

“You’re mine, no one else can have you.” He drags his lips across Louis’ jaw and Louis runs a hand down Harry’s outer thigh.

“No one else will ever have me, love. ‘S just an auction for charity.” He grabs a glass and pushes it between him and Harry, “Here.” He bites his bottom lip as Harry digs his fingers into Louis’ inner thigh before moving away some to take the glass.

Louis watches as Harry takes a sip before he shoots it back and sets the glass on the bar, Louis hands him the other and Harry looks at it, “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“Trying to get you to catch up to me.” Louis respondes, smiling as Harry takes the glass and downs it before putting it back on the bar. Louis turns toward the bar and leans forward, eyeing the bottles sat up nicely along the wall. Different colours of halloween themed lights lit them up. When the bartender comes over to him he holds up two fingers, telling her to pick again. She nods and walks away. Louis could feel Harry’s tail sliding along the back of his thigh, and he closes his eyes as Harry slides his tail upward and across his ass. He takes a moment to breathe in and out, focusing on the music, on the vibrations of the bass, the way he could feel it in his chest. His focus shifting as he felt Harry back up against him, his back against Louis’ side. His tail slides around front of Louis and between his legs. Louis licks his lips and takes the two shots, sending one toward Harry and downing his own quickly. It was sour and it burned more than the other drink had. He watches Harry shiver as he slams the glass down on the bar. 

Harry’s ass was pressed against Louis’ hip, his tail between Louis’ legs. Louis glanced down at the tail, reaching down to move it away from his dick. Harry doesn’t hesitate to move it back, the end flicking hard against him. He tenses for a moment when he feels Harry’s hand on his ass, turning toward him to find he’s turned around, his front now against his side. 

“Don’t you know that the tail has a mind of its own? It wants what it wants.” Harry whispers against Louis’ cheek.

Louis could smell the alcohol on Harry’s breath as he licks his lips before he responded, “What is it that it wants?” 

Louis feels the pressure of Harry’s tail as it taps against him, he glances at the bartender who is on the other side of the bar talking to another bartender. He turns his head slightly, feeling Harry slipped his hand into the back of his fitted trousers. Louis knows he should stop him, but he also isn’t really thinking as he feels Harry’s lips along his jaw. 

Harry’s breath ghosts across Louis’ lips as he breathes out, “Your cock.” 

“I can’t leave, I have to give a speech.” 

“I can work with that.” Louis shakes his head, a small smile on his lips, “Not here, Harry.” 

Harry pouts as his tail slides over Louis’ stomach before going back between his legs, “That’s no fun.”

“Well as much as I love you and the idea of you getting me off in public --” He bites his lip as Harry’s hand slides farther down the back of his pants. He can feel the pressure of Harry’s fingers against his skin as he pressed his hand against Louis’ ass. “This is the wrong place for this.” 

“I just want your cock in my mouth.” Harry bats his eyelashes at Louis.

Louis swallows and looks toward the bartenders before he looks out at the room. He bites his bottom lip and nods, reaching back to pull Harry’s hand from his pants. “Can’t be long.” He grabs Harry’s hand and leads him out of the ballroom as quickly as he could. He isn’t sure how long they have but he knows that with his luck, he doesn’t have long.

__________

Of course Louis’ right. Of all times to be right, Niall barging in to yell his name in a heavily slurred accent just as he comes in Harry’s mouth is not the time he wants to be right. He balls up his hand and slams the side of his fist into the wall of the restroom stall as he sucks in a sharp breath to stay quiet. His other hand is pulling at Harry’s hair. Louis closes his eyes as he feels Harry lick down the shaft of his cock. He knows Harry has a hand around his own dick and he knows Niall is still saying something. 

Louis swallows and opens his eyes, looking down as Harry looks up at him as he comes in his own hand, his mouth parted as a silent gasp falls from his lips. He pulls his bottom lip into his mouth and sucks on it. “What Niall? What do you want, Niall?” Louis forces out as he runs his hand down Harry’s face, pushing his thumb into his mouth. 

Harry sucks on his thumb as he strokes himself through his own orgasm, his eyes locked intently on Louis’. 

“You’re about needed, are you sick, mate?” Niall sounds slightly worried.

Louis pulls his hand away from Harry and begins to tuck himself back into his trousers, “I was, but feeling a bit better now. Just need to clean up, rinse my mouth.” 

“Sure. I’ll have one of the ladies at the bar get you water, and make sure Harry rinses his mouth too.” The bathroom door slams behind him before Louis can reply.

Louis closes his eyes as Harry stands up, honking out a laugh. 

“Yeah? See if I ever fuck your mouth in the loo again.” 

__________

Louis is standing on the sidelines watching a bunch of six year olds chase the bright blue ball. The wind has picked it up on a good kick and now they are pretty much just a bunch of little puppies chasing a ball. A mother laughs beside him as he shakes his head, blowing his whistle to get them to come back. A father runs out to get the ball before it can go any farther, out running the tiny humans. 

“You’re so good with them, Louis. You really know how to let them be kids while teaching them footie. You don’t run them hard.” The mother beside him says, a coffee in her hands, the steam floating from it. 

Louis smiles as he looks over at her, “The fact that you are not the first to tell me that, worries me. They’re just babies still. They need to love what they’re doing and have fun. Even in games. I would rather they have fun over worrying about winning. Gonna be plenty of time for that in the future.” He blows the whistle three more times once the kids got closer and claps his hands, “Alright, you guys did great today! I hope you all have a good week.” He waves them off as they run to their parents, feeling a hand on the small of his back. It’s cold and he jumps away. 

He can hear Harry laughing before he even turns around, his eyes narrowing as he swats him on the arm. 

“Hello, love.” Harry greets him while still laughing.

“Aye, hello to you too frosty.” 

“Why didn’t you start this in Spring?” Harry asks as he crosses his arms while Louis begins to pack up. 

“Because I was impatient okay.” 

Louis only sort of regrets not waiting till spring, but it was true. His sister had made an offhand remark about her daughter wanting to sign up for the winter season but she didn’t like the girls coach. Said he ran the girls too hard, acting like they were not still children. He mentioned something about there being a few mixed groups starting, which in the end got them talking and Louis becoming a coach for some younger groups after Lottie had said some of the mothers wanted more options for their younger children. Louis liked the idea so much he got on it as soon as he could. But waiting until spring? He just didn’t want to do that. 

__________

Louis is laying on the sofa with his feet in Harry’s lap as Louis chats with one of his sisters. Harry is reading a book beside him, the fireplace going with the lights dimmed. A lamp beside Harry is on so he had a bit more light to read and the world outside was grey and dreary. It had started to snow on their way home and now everything was slowly being dusted in white. Louis set his phone down on his thigh and leans his head on the sofa, looking at Harry. Harry blinks a few times, his brow furrowing as he reads. He presses his lips together as he turns a page. Louis can see his eyes moving from word to word and his eyebrows shoot up. Louis chuckles, causing Harry to look at him.

“What?” 

“I love you.” Louis responds with a soft smile.

Harry smiled back, “I love you, too.” 

“I know.” He picks up his phone and Harry goes back to his book.

The thing is, in the end he has always known. From the first time he had ever heard those words fall from Harry’s lips to now and the entire time in between, he’s always known deep down inside. Always known that they loved each other. 

Louis’ phone rings and it startles him from his thoughts. He answers it and hears Niall’s voice loudly over the other end. He pulls the phone away, flipping it to speaker.

“Why are you yelling, Niall?” Louis asks and Harry looks over at him.

_“Because I’m gonna declaw your cat_.” Niall yells into the phone and Harry frowns.

“What did I do?” Harry asks loud enough for Niall to hear him.

“_You fucking won the auction, you bastard._” 

Louis snorts as Harry smiles widely, “Oh boy! I’m having dinner with Louis Tomlinson!” 


End file.
